Your best ideas tend to come when you least expect it

Nothing like a nighttime stroll to give you ideas. ~J.K. Rowling, "The Egg and The Eye," Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, 2000, spoken by the character Mad-Eye Moody

Your best ideas tend to come when you least expect it.  As such, it's always wise to keep a notepad or other means of recording your thoughts before you forget.  Often a moment of brilliance will glow brightly but only for a moment.  You're deceiving yourself in believing you'll be able to recall the details later.  Like a wonderful sunset the most brilliant of ideas will fade from your memory more quickly than the sun vanishes from the sky.  Relaxation may help you recall your thoughts or come up with superior ones.  The best ideas that are not acted upon are equal to no ideas at all.

A better place to live

I've had the flu for longer than normal.  I'll be the first to admit, I don't take very good care of myself.  My daughters are all quite busy but take the time to call me to check on me.  I suppose I must concern them.  Yesterday my youngest dropped by after class.  Today my oldest was called off work.  She dropped by and spent time with me.  I spoke with my other daughter (who has to work) both yesterday and today on the phone.  I had lunch with my niece the last few days.  They're all too kind and look out for me.  They also do their best to keep my spirits high.  I've always been grateful to my family and friends.  I suppose the best way to summarize all my family and friends do for me is "The only true test of values, either of men or of things, is that of their ability to make the world a better place in which to live." - Henry Ford, Ford News  I wouldn't be where I am today without the caring and support of my family and friends.  They create the most favorable existence for me.

The true art of deceiving oneself lies in not over-analyzing the situation

"I lie to myself all the time, but I never believe me." - S.E. Hinton

"I'm fine" is probably the biggest lie I tell myself.  Back in January of 2012, I fell and hit my Dad's storage chest.  My ribs hurt.  I told myself and everyone else I was fine for three months.  By then, I developed pneumonia.  When I saw my doctor, he did a chest X-ray.  I broke three ribs.  He wasn't happy with me.  I broke three ribs the preceding year on the other side of my chest.  I was fine then as well.

Why do we lie to ourselves?  It's not intentional.  It's a reflex or a reaction.  It's something you do without thinking about it.  Admitting certain things bother us is a sign of weakness.  It says there is something in this world you can't handle on your own.  Your mind goes into defensive mode.  In this case this was odd for me, since I'm neither afraid of doctors or hospitals.  I just don't think of myself as weak.  It bothers me.  If I would've given myself the opportunity to think about it, I'd know I wasn't fine.  However, the true art of deceiving oneself lies in not over-analyzing the situation.

Avoidance is another reason to lie to yourself.  If you have a dreaded meeting you're trying to avoid and your mind tells you it's Wednesday instead of Thursday so you miss the meeting.  You've effectively lied to yourself to avoid an uncomfortable situation.  In truth, you most likely only postponed it.  However, your stress level decreases as you reschedule for a much later date.  In truth, if you would've thought about it, glanced at the calendar on your phone or in your planner, you'd know the day and date.  The art of avoidance through deception didn't allow it.  Your mind likely told you that you were too busy.

Intentionally deceiving others is unconscionable.  Deceiving oneself isn't possible without the suspension of disbelief.  I lie to myself all the time.  "No.  I won't be late."  If I hit traffic, this is a less than comforting lie.  I have however successfully deceived myself.  On those occasions my mind found an ulterior motive on it's own.  I broke my ribs in January after my Dad passed away.  I was needed at home.  After everyone returned to their homes, I started feeling ill.  I went to the doctor.  Apparently, I broke three ribs and developed pneumonia because it went untreated.

I would agree the quote is true unless your will is strong.  There are many ways to successfully deceive yourself.  There are many positive reasons to do so, for example:  convincing yourself the room is empty or contains one person so you aren't nervous during a speech.  The key is to identify whether or not it's necessary.  If it's not necessary you won't believe yourself anyway.  However, if it's important don't over-analyze and keep yourself busy. 

Profile Blocked

You request me as a friend.

I check your profile. Well... Alright... Honestly, I may know you. I may not. I leave you in my requests for later. After all, you gave me no details. Most people who have the slightest notion I may not remember do.

Last week you changed your profile photograph. This is not unusual. It looks nothing like the previous photo. Perhaps it is a relative. Same name. Same profile. It is not a private one. I looked. It still doesn't ring a bell.

Yesterday you changed your name. People do that. Weird. It isn't your name at all...

Today when I looked in requests...  Different photograph. Different name. Different profile... Alright I definitely don't know you. Profile blocked.


On every social network that allows it, I have a public page and a personal profile.  I don't add people I don't know to my personal profile.  I can tell you how I know everyone on my personal profile.  I wrote this several years ago on Facebook.  I still don't add random people to my Facebook.  I still know everyone on my profile.  That's my real name and my real photograph.  My family is on Facebook.  My friends are on Facebook.  My former classmates are on Facebook.  My coworkers, colleagues, and peers are on Facebook.  Very rarely do I receive a strange request but when I do, it's a particularly suspicious one.  It's never concerned me.  After all, that's why there's a block function.  I never understood the people who fail to utilize it.    

Misinterpretation

Never hold your head high with pride or ego.
Remember...
Even the winner of a Gold Medal gets the medal only when he puts his head down!
-Unknown

Regardless of how remarkable your achievement, you should always be courteous and respectful.  You should never be arrogant.  It's not a complicated message but in my opinion, often many people take simple statements and attempt to twist them to their own advantage.  It's not just a puzzle game for fun.  It's a deliberate and intentional assignment of meaning where there isn't any evidence suggesting such a meaning exists.  It's one thing to analyze words or to engage in word play and quite another to take them out of context altogether.  It always makes me uncomfortable to see a great quote attached to an awkward picture, drawing, or meme giving it another meaning.  I've seen many.  However, this one lends itself to misinterpretation.  I'm not saying my interpretation is the only correct one.  Nor am I saying I disagree with all other interpretations of this quote.  I'm simply stating that intentionally distorting something for your own personal agenda is wrong.  You'd be better off finding something else that is more agreeable to your cause or making an outright statement yourself.

hum·ble

[huhm-buhl, uhm-] Show IPA adjective, hum·bler, hum·blest, verb, hum·bled, hum·bling.

adjective

1.

not proud or arrogant; modest: to be humble although successful.

2.

having a feeling of insignificance, inferiority, subservience, etc.: In the presence of so many world-famous writers I felt very humble.

3.

low in rank, importance, status, quality, etc.; lowly: of humble origin; a humble home.

4.

courteously respectful: In my humble opinion you are wrong.

5.

low in height, level, etc.; small in size: a humble member of the galaxy.

verb (used with object)

6.

to lower in condition, importance, or dignity; abase.

7.

to destroy the independence, power, or will of.

8.

to make meek: to humble one's heart.

Origin:
1200–50; Middle English  ( h ) umble  < Old French  < Latin humilis  lowly, insignificant, on the ground. See humus, -ile

It's putting an identity out there for others to recognize

Note:  I originally posted this on Facebook.  I omitted the name.  It's an amusing albeit embarrassing anecdote.

x: Where did you get that?
Me: Get What?
x: That!
Me: What!?
x: That car!
Me: umm sweetie I don't drive. You mean my daughter's car?
x: No I mean THAT car [name's car].
Me: (confused) What?
x: You know [names car] from [game].
Me: Oh. That's a promo item for that game.

I alpha and beta test many games.  However, in all the years I've been testing this is definitely new.  Many people play to relax and escape the pressures of everyday life.  In some MMORPG's, you can travel.  You can visit real places.  For a while, I was a tour guide.  This was challenging.  To be honest, I greatly preferred the fantasy side over touring realistic sites.  For me, it's simpler to memorize a storyline with a plot than to learn basic facts about historic monuments.  I noticed it doesn't matter whether or not the players are in a real setting or a fantasy setting.  The fact is they become very attached to their role and their avatar.  Sometimes when it's time to turn off the monitor and return to real life these people are stuck in a sort of limbo.  They're halfway between reality and fiction.  

It reminds me of a joke my daughter has with a few of her friends on Facebook, "pics or it didn't happen".  This is because on Facebook, unless you're using a third party application or mobile chat, you can say anything and no one can prove otherwise.  Who really knows for certain where Alyssah and I were the other day when we were chatting with Danny.  Apparently Danny does because mobile chat told him just the same way it gave away his location.  In social media, people create identities for themselves whether they intend upon doing so or not.  If it's intentional, it's branding.  It's putting an identity out there for others to recognize.  People create brands and roles to establish themselves.  When it's time to power off the monitor and return to real life, those who have truly adopted roles in social media can't do so and always have some form of technology giving notifications.  It's a part of who they've become.  They're halfway between the virtual world online and reality.   

The importance of a backup tree

(Arleenah's Phone) Buzz...
(Arleenah) Sleeping...
(Arleenah's Phone) Buzz...
(Arleenah) Sleeping...
(Two Hours Later - Arleenah's Voicemail) Arleenah! Let Me into Lovelace I Forgot My Keys!
(Arleenah) O.O
(Arleenah - calls back...) I'm so sorry. I was asleep and I'm not even home...
(Arleenah's Friend [laughing as he cuts her off]) Oh it's okay. I found my keys in my pocket.

All my daughters were home for break.  Apparently this young man has many acquaintances.  His "friends" invite him to parties, to go out in general, out to eat, to play video games, pretty much anything social.  However, when it comes down to something important like his studies, work, needing to talk, or an emergency, he has one friend on campus -- my daughter.  This brings up a rather obvious subject, the need for a back up plan.   Since my daughter went home, had he not found his key, his options would've been limited.  It was during break.  There were fewer students and staff.  He would've been waiting a long time.  I'm certain his response would've been his key card is his primary means of entry.  My daughter is his back up plan.  To which my response would've been that he needs a backup to his backup or a backup tree.  Therefore if one branch fails he can move to the next branch until he meets with success.  As a side note, I've seen the "how to get into each apartment / home" in case of emergency tree each of my daughters has in her planner.  It's not unreasonable.  My youngest has access to not only her apartment if she loses her own key but also her older sister's apartment, her oldest sister's home, my aunt's home and my home as do her sisters and my niece.  It's not only important to have a backup plan but a backup to your backup as well.  It ensures success should something unpredictable occur in life, education, and business.     

Motive makes a difference

Alyssah: Mamma smell my hair
me: (smells her hair)
Alyssah: What does it smell like?
me: meat?
Alyssah: No! (runs out of the room then back in with a tube of leave in hair conditioner, opens the lid and says) like this!
me: it smells pretty, like you after a bath.
Alyssah: Yuss! 

I'm an extremely honest person.  If you don't want an honest opinion, don't ask me.  However, if I would've known her motive for asking this particular question, I might've answered differently in the first place.  It's not that I would've lied.  Dishonesty is such an ugly thing.  Knowing people's motives helps us to better understand them and their behavior.  My family has very thick hair.  Everyone's hair retains strong scents easily.  One of my daughter's hobbies is cooking.  She was making lasagne.  She had been browning ground beef and spicing it.  Her sisters and cousin were teasing her about smelling like meat after she put dinner in to bake and had changed clothes.  She was feeling a little sensitive.  I should've responded with empathy instead of confusion.  However, I'd been busy and was unaware of the situation.  I responded honestly without knowing her motives.  Sometimes brutal honesty isn't the best policy.  It's of benefit to learn motive first then respond accordingly in life and in business.  A simple "why do you ask" would have sufficed.  In this situation the outcome wasn't tragic or painful and had no negative repercussions but that isn't always the case.  It's always advantageous to use your best judgement in how to respond with integrity after learning the motive for the inquiry.          

Times have changed

It's not unusual for people to photograph their meals.  In all likelihood, the photograph is for Instagram, Foursquare, or even Facebook.  Years ago, I used to photograph my meal for some very different reasons.  My family is in the habit of ordering something large and sharing or many of us would end up ordering the same entree`.  If we decided to visit again or after some time had passed then I had a dated photograph and notes to answer the "what did we order the last time" question.  Also, there are a plethora of unusual food related allergies in my family in varying degrees with a diversity of results.  Therefore, having exact records of what we ate and when is always useful.  Back then, "So you enjoy photography" was a common question.  Today, it's assumed I'm taking a photograph for Instagram.  Times have changed.  What was once viewed as foreign behavior has now become the norm.

The importance of writing things down and reading it

I'm a large proponent of writing down items of importance.  I've carried a journal since I was young.  My first was a gift from my Dad to write down important things.  When I started college I switched to a planner.  When I entered the work force, I started using Franklin Covey.  While I prefer Franklin Covey, I'm alright with a good day planner.  It's always a good idea to be prepared.  You can't be prepared, if you haven't planned for it.  It's just that simple.

Yesterday my youngest daughter called and advised me she would be dropping in from college.  She's starting work study and requires certain documents.  Dutifully, I retrieved these documents from our safety deposit box in the bank and awaited her visit.  She's always very thoughtful with her visits and makes certain I don't need anything.  We went to lunch and ran errands.  She's delightful company.  Of course, I wrote down why she drove home previously when she called me.  She knew why she drove home.  However, by the end of her visit she hugged me good bye, kissed me on the cheek and drove away.  I'm always contently tired after her visits.  As I lay napping, I had an awful feeling I was forgetting something.  I forced my eyes open.  There on my desk was the envelope I removed from the bank for Alyssah.  Oh snap.

I called Alyssah.  She was a half an hour away already but she needed those documents for school.  She took the next exit and turned around.  My Alyssah also carries a planner.  She also wrote down not to forget to retrieve the documents.  The point is often when you are enjoying yourself, items of importance will slip your mind.  Although both my daughter and I wrote down this particular item of importance, neither of us thought to look at our planners before she left.  That's unusual.  We normally plan another lunch or dinner in advance.  It's not only significant to acknowledge what should be noted and write it down accordingly but it's equally if not more so important to refer to your journal, notes, or planner.  It's of no use to have it written down, if no one ever sees it.