Frame of reference is important

When my brother and I were young we used to recycle heavily because the salvage yards in our area paid well and every teen-ager needs extra cash for the week ends for food, entertainment, and fuel.  After glass bottles became obsolete, one of our favored items were one liter bottles that returned a nickle in our state or in the neighboring state where we visit relatives.  We lived in a small town.  Many of our classmates were sheltered.  The drug store had a candy shop inside.  Many of the stores were mom and pop shops.  For the longest time our grocers all had bakers and butchers in house.  Quality tends to suffer when a community grows.  The reason I bring up the size of my home town and recycling in particular is because I wanted to share the importance of point of reference.  I can illustrate a point using a popular television series episode for example, but there are still those who'll lose the popular culture reference.  Not everyone shares similar experiences in entertainment, education, occupation, travel, readings, lectures, seminars, the arts, or life.  Your life experiences build your frame of reference. 

My brother and I had a friend from school who was fascinated with culture and was unintentionally, extremely naive.  I recall her asking me what Mi hi was with the fascination and sincerity of a six year old.  I had no idea what she was talking about but assumed she was mispronouncing something.  This was the same friend that was fascinated by the "foreign fruit" in our home.  They were California grown mangoes but we didn't like to spoil her illusions.  I thought perhaps she was merely reading the packaging of items that looked unfamiliar to her and mispronouncing some ingredient.  I only figured out what she was talking about because she asked why we bought different soda if it looked and tasted the same.  The Mi hi or 5 cents she was talking about was Michigan Hawaii Oregon - recycle for a nickel.  Her frame of reference was entirely different than mine and she made a lot of assumptions.  We didn't purchase that soda.  However, the person that purchased it for us took notice that we carried one liter bottles instead of two.  I'm afraid we didn't explain to our kindly Auntie that brand didn't matter.  We purchased the one liters for price, convenience, size, and we selected the one with our state on the recycling list on the back.  It's funny that our friend assumed the smaller size meant it was a different kind of product.

Your frame of reference is built by life experience.  Without the proper frame of reference, many misunderstandings can occur.  Some of these misunderstandings may not be harmless.  It can cause unnecessary frustrations.  It only takes a moment of your time to cater your frame of reference for your intended audience.  Even if you don't feel context is important, even if it seems as if anyone and everyone should be able to comprehend it -- read it again.  Always remember, clarity is best.

Everything you do or say intentional or not is absorbed by your children

The holiday season is a time for giving.  Christmas is important to my family.  We have a large family.  Holiday shopping is a leisurely experience that takes many lengthy trips.  On one of our final excursions, it was just me and my oldest daughter.  We decided to stop for a bite.  Since we were in a mall, I sat in the food court with our purchases while my daughter hurried off toward the little counter we decided to purchase from beforehand.  As I was waiting, a large family stopped next to our table.  They were arguing quite loudly.  The mother of this unruly group declared there was no point in whining they would take a bathroom break but wouldn't be able to stop to eat until they bought all the presents they had to buy.  She then started listing who they had left as they continued to argue across the food court.  What caught my attention besides the fact that they were too loud, obnoxious, and ill-tempered to ignore was she said "had to buy".  One of her, I assume, sons made the remark about Aunt Donna? and possibly her family? (I wasn't actually trying to over-hear this conversation) but what he said was "we don't even like them".  I often feel that the definition of the word Gift is lost on people.  A Gift is something you give freely of yourself because you want to in order to bring happiness to its recipient.  It's not an obligation.  Although, I admit I know people who have those.  It's certainly not something you spend time on, torment your family doing, or give to people you don't even like.  Strangers are different.  Random acts of kindness are a manner by which you can be grateful for all you've been blessed.  Obligations are best left to mail order, catalog, or kiosk purchases.  Select a nice fruit basket, seasonal item, gift card, or something from this individuals line of work or area of interest.  It's quite difficult to go wrong in this way if you insist on exchanging holiday items with people you don't like or is just an acquaintance you feel you should give something to for the holidays.  Personally, I send my Christmas cards and holiday greetings.  I never purchase a Gift I don't believe the recipient will love.  For me, it defeats the purpose of giving if you didn't want to give that person a gift in the first place.  Perhaps some people just need to re-evaluate their values not for themselves but for what they're teaching their children who are our future.  Later tonight, my family wraps more gifts.  There's an all night coffee shop with wonderful coffee and snacks.  Thus far, there are sixteen of us here.  The children are helping wrap gifts.  Perhaps, I'll get my brother and brother-in laws to pick up some coffee and snacks, some to go and some standing orders for whoever needs it.  It's a cold night tonight.

Everything you do or say intentional or not is absorbed by your children.  Their definition of many things in life not just Gift depends on you.

Ask but never assume

My daughter recently switched apartments.  During the move, her Xbox hard drive was misplaced.  She dropped by a local shop to pick up another one and a longer HDMI cable.  The associate that was assisting her was making small talk.  Generally it's good practice to make small talk with your customers.  He was awkward.  One of the first things he said was "what kind of Xbox does your boyfriend have?"  When you make assumptions about the end use of any product, you risk losing that sale.  I purchased a nice waffle maker for a male member of my family this Christmas.  A few years ago, my brother gave me ties for my birthday.  Placing artificial labels on products isn't only limiting but can be fatal to your business.  When I purchase products, I don't expect them to be gender labeled nor do I expect sales associates to blatantly tag them as such.  If I find such inconsideration, there are other brands and other shops.  

Nothing is impossible.

A number of years ago, I met a talented developer.  After working together on a number of projects, we became good friends.  She's one of my better friends.  Though I'm familiar with her appearance from online video chats, I only learned her real first name recently when she asked mine.  It was never necessary information.  People often tell me it isn't possible to have close friends you've never met.  There's something missing.  If that's the case, the missing element isn't trust. 

Last year during November, we were working on a project.  I recall her telling me her headset was busted.  I made an offhand remark about all the sales going on and that it should be inexpensive to replace it.  She didn't respond for quite a long period of time.  I assumed she was working.  When she finally replied, she told me she couldn't replace the headset with just any headset.  She had sent off for a particular one.  At this point, you're likely thinking she's vain or spoiled.  I assure you that isn't the case.  She had never told anyone she worked with before me on that night.  She required special equipment because she was deaf.  The equipment allowed her to feel the sound waves as if she could hear them.  I would've never known had she not told me. 

I've never felt sorry for her.  She's one of the best.  Yet, I realize there are many things that are taken fore granted for the simple reason that they're gifts we're all born with so we never know what it's like to live without them.  Some people will never see the sunrise.  Others will never earn your trust.  Some people are born blessed.  Others work for their blessings.  She taught me to turn my disadvantages to my advantage and never to take anything fore granted.  Be grateful for your blessings but if you're not so blessed work toward it.  Nothing is impossible.    

Our world revolves around time and convenience.

My brother filters all our drinking water.  It takes forever.  There's nothing wrong with our water.  My daughter's senior science fair project a few years ago actually show it's far more pure than the surrounding areas.  My brother is convinced it makes a difference.  I don't like to argue.  Besides, one day we'll be under boil order and that won't be necessary.

We all like home made things, baked goods, fresh brewed latte, and fresh brewed tea.  I take the time to do these things.  Of course it's certainly simpler to use the Kuereg to brew tea.  Easier isn't always better.  It's still good to drink.  It's fast.  However if we have time fresh brewed tea is always welcome.

We like to mock my bother in law Mike.  They're friendly jibes.  He knows we love him.  He also makes the best coffee.  As well he should since he's particular about coffee beans and uses a coffee press and filtered water.  Our family exists on coffee.  Waiting is killer but worth it.

Our world revolves around time and convenience.  Patience isn't a strong suit for those who need things done an hour ago, yesterday, or last week.  Isn't it better to guarantee quality, to get exceptional by giving time than to settle for good.  The question is rhetorical.  The coffee I drink on a daily basis is extremely good.  I would even say some of it is delicious.  However, I know of few high class restaurants that can brew a finer cup of coffee than my brother in law Mike.  He's patient enough to rise and brew that every morning.

What's more important, time or excellence?  Can you find a balance you're willing to live with between convenience and quality?

People play games. Online, on the phone, and offline in real life. Most of the time I enjoy playing but not all the time.

"Click here if you remember [fill in the blank]".  Often, this will have an image instead of text.  This is an interesting game particularly if someone starts a discussion thread beneath the post.  I remember things from before I was born.  I read and am quite fond of antiques.  I'm a nightmare waiting to happen because I'm fond of games and not fond of divulging my age.  I've never been dishonest but then no one has ever really asked me precisely how I remember or I've been extremely lucky if you believe in luck.  When I was seventeen, I had the privilege of working in a clinic during the summer.  The doctors loved both the newest technology and the oldest antiques.  It would be an understatement to say that our offices were unique. 

People play this game because it's fun to belong and reminisce.  Who doesn't want to take a trip down memory lane?  It's always great for a few laughs.  People ask this question to judge your honesty on your age if you listed it.  If you recall something that was a short lived fad or was replaced by something else five or ten years before you were born and you have a funny story to go along with it, something doesn't add up.  Many people no longer list vital information such as age, sex, relationship status, location, education and work information.  If it's a personal account, it's no one's business but your own.  If it's a business account, you're there to make connections.  That information is business related and public anyway. 

All data is valuable.  Discerning male from female isn't impossible.  Relative location can be identified by your ip address or locations you visit.  Relationship status is a bit more difficult but as social networks are privy to all your posts, it only takes one mention.  "Click here if you remember..." verifies your age group.

There's another game you've probably played.  It involves a storyline.  You fill in this storyline with the nine people in your friend's box.  These friends, visible or not, aren't random.  They change based on an algorithm that takes into account friends you prefer, favorite, subscribe to, and follow before other friends.  People you just follow and pages you like are not considered friends and therefore not a factor.  Essentially, it's who you interacted with last over a period of time.  Not who interacted with you last over a period of time.  There's a difference.  Why is this information even interesting? It's the last nine friends you took the time to interact with -- obviously.  Think of these friends as your miniature network.  Now consider whether they all went to the same high school or college or worked for the same employers past or present.  Their points of intersection or what they have in common are most likely also what they have in common with you.

People play games.  Online, on the phone, and offline in real life.  It prevents them from having to ask direct questions that you'll probably reject answering.  A while back, I visited another state where I happen to have many relatives.  We had stopped at a familiar place.  I was seated comfortably waiting, reading my Kindle while my daughters decided what to order.  I was approached by a young woman who knew my family surname.  It's not difficult.  We look alike.  Instead of asking me who I am which by the way is culturally not rude.  She instead asked about Mama, everyone knows my Grandmother.  She explained which neighborhood she grew up in and asked which neighborhood I grew up in.  [Enter the game]  This information tells her what school district I would've attended in my youth.

As much as I enjoy games because I have nothing to hide and to be honest it's just a game, there are times I'd like to be asked what pizza toppings I prefer without knowing there's some underlying motivation. 

It's just a game. What's the harm in playing?

These particular examples are from Facebook.  However, it doesn't matter which social network you select.  Within the parameters of  posting, blogging, tweeting, and conversation the information is the same.  One of the most interesting things I've been observing is a unique, accurate, and simple manner by which social networks have it's members divulge personal information people wouldn't otherwise reveal.  It's a clever way to mine for data that social networks and those in marketing and sales can utilize free of charge. 

It's human nature to share that which brings you joy.  If it's fun for you, it'll certainly be fun and entertaining for all your friends.  It's just a game.  What's the harm in playing?  This mentality is what draws people in initially.  The entertainment factor as well as the feeling of not wanting to leave your friends out or be left out of the fun yourself is what keeps people participating. 

Have you played "how did we meet".  Unlike other social networks Facebook is unique in that most people do know one another.  They're family.  They're old or current classmates, co-workers, colleagues, friends, guild mates, or contacts - personal, work, or conference.  This particular trending post is a wildcard.  It shows up randomly but often after large updates, policy changes, or large changes in the population.  If you play or have played "how did we meet", Facebook now knows who you know in real life regardless of how you answered their question when you friended that individual.      

In addition to "likes" targeted marketing also has your input.  You'll see each of the following or some variation every year.  Answering is fun.  After all it's only a game.  What's the harm in playing? 

In January there's New Year.  "What's your resolution?"
In February there's Valentine's Day.  It's usually "What's your favorite kind of [fill in the blank]?"  Sometimes someone sends the "Do you remember your first [fill in the blank]?" post. 
In March well, spring has sprung.  "What do you like to do outdoors?"
In April there's Easter.  "What's your favorite color?" "What's your favorite number?" "What's your eye color?" "What's your favorite thing to plant?" This is the month of spring festivals and gardening posts.
In May there's Mother's day.  Interestingly enough, it's usually "Facts about the day your first child was born" and "Facts about my children" -- Let me pause a moment -- What parent can resist filling those out.  Of course, you've just told everyone where, when, and, what time your children were born as well as other personal details about your children.
In June there's Father's day.  "What my dad/grandad taught me?" "What's your favorite summer activity or summer memory or place to go on summer vacation?" Not to mention the actual summer vacation photographs.
In July there's Independence Day.  This is the annoyingly personal post.  It kind of looks like the "about me" + more.  "Where were you born?"  "Where did you grow up?"  "What street did you live on?"  "What grade school did you go to?"  "Did you or any member of your family ever serve in the military?" and so on.  Most people already know know all about me because they're on my Facebook.  If I wanted it public, I would've filled it out.  Sometimes this trending post migrates.  Most often it's here.
In August there are the autumn posts and the autumn festival posts.  This is when you'll see a great deal of logic, visual, optical illusion type games but particularly "once you see it or solve it, repost it".  It's a great way to tell how much of your population really plays.  The population is high in August, school starts.
In September you see the chilly weather food and beverage posts along with the fall festival posts. "What's your favorite fall food?" "What's your favorite fall beverage?" "What's your favorite fall activity?"
In October there's Halloween but also annual enrollment for benefits and congress is in session -- a lot of scary stuff going on here... Again, the interesting thing is it's usually "Are you dressing up this year?  If so as what?" "What's your favorite beer (because of Octoberfest) / alcoholic beverage?" "What's your favorite beverage / hot beverage?"  "What's your favorite kind of candy or sweets?"
In November there's Thanksgiving.  Almost everyone does the "I'm thankful for [fill in the blank]" posts until Thanksgiving.
In December there's Christmas and many other religious holidays.  The count down posts are popular as are the "If I could change one thing it would be [fill in the blank]" Facebook provides a year in review.  However, there's also a post that circulates "What I accomplished this year" It's what you believe you've accomplished and what you hope to accomplish.  It's a long one.  "What's your favorite winter activity?" is also popular.

I'm certain you can see the appeal to the questionnaires.  It's a great way to learn something you may not have known before about your friends.  It's a manner by which to know who actually reads your posts and to get people to interact with you.  It's a way to get more than a like.  It's a great conversation starter.

It's also a no cost avenue to provide your personal information to social networks and anyone else who might have access.  There's nothing wrong with much of the data.  Collectively, if ninety eight percent of the population say they adore the color blue then you'll likely find it trending on clothing, shoes, phone cases, purses, and other items next season.  As long as you're aware of what data you're making available and it's alright with you then there isn't an issue.  The main thing is to be informed of what you're doing online.

One last thing:  If you post Bitstrips of yourself coughing and say "watching TV for the third day in a row.  still sick."   Don't be surprised by targeted ads for cold and flu remedies.
  

Education costs money. But then so does ignorance.

Education costs money.  But then so does ignorance. - Sir Claus Moser

I would agree it's far more costly to be ignorant than it is to be educated.  To begin with there is the matter of employment.  People who are educated are far more capable of supporting themselves and their families.  While there is work for the ignorant, obviously it doesn't pay as well.  Further by definition ignorance is simply the state of being unaware or lacking knowledge.  That being the case, it would be easier to take advantage of one that is ignorant of labor laws or benefit packages for example than one who has been educated.  Being ignorant costs health care dollars and could cost expenses associated with accidents if one is unaware of certain labor laws that dictate how many consecutive hours they can work for that profession.  On the extreme end, if an individual or family cannot work due to lack of training, tax payer dollars support them.  Yes.  Education is costly but it's far better to be educated than ignorant.

Failure isn't a permanent state of being

I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed. –Michael Jordan

When you succeed at your given talent, many people will look up to you.  Many people will depend on you.  However, regardless of how hard you try or what you do, you will at some point fail.  Failing to meet expectations isn't a tragedy.  Failure isn't a permanent state of being.  It only becomes so if you allow it.  The decision is yours and yours alone.  You can become apathetic and choose a life of failure or instead become motivated to become something more.  People won't lose trust in you for failing and having the will to try again.  People will lose faith in you for failing and not caring you failed.  Those who reject apathy but accept failure and try again become successful.  You have a lifetime.  You could chose to do nothing and escape failure but live a sub par life of mediocrity or live life, take risks, and be successful in your own eyes.  Ultimately the choice is yours.         

I thought I was the only one

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”
-C.S. Lewis

Friendship is an interesting topic.  Friends have things in common.  Friends enjoy each others company.  The closer you are, the more you are aware of that person.  I have friends I've met briefly or have yet to meet in person who know me better than friends who live down the street.  While I understand the ideal that friendship should be based on mutual interests, "I thought I was the only one." seems very lonely to me.  In this world of great technological advancements often people forget how to communicate.