Never be caught like a child that doesn't know any better.

When I was young, we were brought up with proper manners.  This included not cursing.  None of the younger children cursed.  However, children learn by example.  Children aren't born with fear, hate, language, or even the most basic of behaviors.  These are all learned somewhere. 

My older cousins went to public schools.  They knew better than to curse; but, were more clever than the average child.  Instead of cursing in English or any language we knew our multilingual relatives would comprehend they picked words and phrases from a country that there was no way anyone would understand.  It was even quite humorous when the younger children who knew that those words were bad, if not what they meant, began parroting them.  After all, one simply doesn't cuss (at least not back then).  If you cussed, you did so for a reason.  You hurt yourself badly.  You were extremely angry.  As I mentioned before, it's a learned behavior.  It's also not terribly difficult to figure out.  If you slam your hand in the door and say something, even if you're laughing, if it's in another language any child knows that's a bad word. 

This went on for a while until one of my Aunts heard one of the little ones cuss in this other language because he was fairly deeply cut on the rose bushes.  Although concerned he was hurt, she was equally concerned about where he heard that word.  When asked questions most children do one of two things either shut down due to extreme trauma or fear or give you the most honest opinions or answers to your questions.  Trauma is inflicted.  Fear, dishonesty and lying are other learned behaviors.  That's something to consider when you're around small children.  They learn what's considered alright from the people they come in contact with, television, movies, school, and technology.  My younger cousin who had been injured by the rose bushes told my Aunt everything. 

She patched him up.  Told all of us little ones what that word meant.  She explained at length why we shouldn't say it.  She honestly didn't need to explain.  None of us really knew what it meant to begin with; we were simply parroting the older children.  She also told us which relatives spoke that language.  We watched her walk off to find our older cousins for a chat. 

What's the point?  The point is in business and life, you never know what the other person knows or what information and knowledge they posses.  All you know is what has been shared with you and what's common knowledge.  It's far simpler to add value to a discussion than to retract or back peddle your way out of a situation you were unprepared to handle.  Never be caught like a child that doesn't know any better.    

No one will ever know about the little blue bird

My maternal Grandmother was a quiet lady.  She was always smiling.  She loved to cook, sew, and garden.  People always said they could tell she was a kind, gentle lady of great character.  My Dad once told me that everyone knows she's kind and gentle by the way she acts in public but it's the way she acts in private that gives her great character.  This always confused me when I was young.  How could people know she was a lady of great character if they were never around to see it. 

My Grandmother was the sort of person who could grow sticks into thriving plants and nurse wounded animals back to health.  One crowded summers day, there was an awful noise in front of the house.  A car tried to swerve to avoid hitting these kittens crossing the street.  It hit one anyway and also took out a bird on it's windshield.  My little sisters were bawling.  No one else really took much notice.  It was just a little grey cat and a little blue bird.  When my Grandmother returned from her daily walk, the street had cleared out.  My sisters were still upset.  When she asked why they were unhappy, they explained everything. 

My Grandmother, much to the dismay of the other adults in my family, searched the sides of the road and the gutters and retrieved the two broken animals.  The little blue bird was already gone; but, she did nurse the little part Russian grey kitten back to health.  Everyone was so pre-occupied with the kitten that would live they assumed she discarded the little bird.  She didn't.  I saw her tuck it away.  Later I quietly watched her give it a proper burial and say a prayer when she was finished.  She didn't know I was there.  I understood what my Dad meant by having great character.  They're the actions you do when no one is around, no one is observing, and give you no merit.  It's what makes you a good person. 

No one will ever know about the little blue bird.  Yet everyone knows my Grandmother is a kind, gentle lady of great character.   

Waiting for Pizza

My brother:  What are you doing?
Me:  Making coffee.
My brother:  S'okay I'll get it.
Me:  I'm making iced...
My brother:  It's cold out...
Me:  I'm aware. (grins)
My brother:  Allllrrriiiggghhhtttt...
Me:  (sits back down and starts typing)
My brother:  What's that?
Me:  I'm blogging.
My brother:  On your tablet?
Me:  It's convenient.  Besides it's way easier than blogging on my phone.
My brother:  You blog on your phone?
Me:  Not easily.

The funny thing about this conversation is we both already know what's going to be asked and the answer.  We can practically finish each others sentences.  It's a comfortable exchange.  He's my brother.  We're not actually talking for information.  We're talking to hear each other talk while we wait for the pizza delivery guy.  In most cases, you won't have a pre-established relationship with the individual you're attempting to communicate with, exchange information, or gain information.  Having not only your goal in mind but also well researched steps for reaching that goal is key to achieving it.  If you think of communicating to achieve a goal in two steps:  communicating is similar to interviewing and achieving the goal is similar to being hired; it's a simple matter to develop the process.  Not every conversation is like waiting for pizza.  You need to be prepared.