How you're perceived, will determine how what you say, do, or present is interpreted.

As children we're taught to read thoroughly and objectively.  If you don't read thoroughly, you'll miss important details.  If you don't read objectively, your personal feelings, experiences, or opinions may change the meaning, intent, or accuracy of the reading or on the extreme end insert elements that weren't there at all.  As adults our reading skills may be further handicapped by relationships and experience.

A few days ago there was a short, lacking in substance and detail news article about a Utah school.  All it stated was 1) some of the parents were a little behind on the lunch account 2) this couldn't be determined until the student reached the cashier implying but not specifically stating that this had to be the first day of notice 3) lunches were thrown out in front of all the students 4) lunches were replaced by an orange and a milk 5) parents usually paid on accounts as notified -- That was all if you're pulling facts.  The rest was reporter commentary on the outrage, anger, and fall out.  This same article was posted by two of my friends.

(Names changed)

Liz is religious.  She's a business owner.  Most of her posts have some religious reference, inspirational text, or the words God or Jesus in them.

Rob is ex military.  He's an educator.  Most of his posts have some sort of political reference.  He posts news, satire, controversial topics.

They both posted the article.  The reactions, even from the same people, were different.  People tend to read the article as posted by Liz with Liz in mind.  They have empathy for the children and their families.  They speak of the injustice and the tragedy.  They talk of how no child should go hungry or be treated this way.  They speak highly of the one cafeteria worker that was helpless to do anything but had the compassion to cry at the plight of these children who remember.  This detail was in the fall out.

In contrast, Rob was viciously attacked.  I read things on free and reduced lunches.  I read the word freeloaders more times than I care to count.  I read the words irresponsible parents.  I read a lot of legislation that should be passed to do away with free and reduced lunches.  None of this was in this article.  The readers were associating past posts with the current one.  In other words they weren't reading objectively.  They read the article with Rob in mind.

Herein lies the danger.  How you're perceived whether or not it's entirely accurate, will in part also determine how everything you say, do, or present is interpreted.  While I believe you should always be yourself, I also believe there are lines that shouldn't be crossed.  An article is an article regardless of who presents it.  The facts don't magically change.  

Nothing you do is insignificant

The gaming industry is one of the most unique places I've ever had the pleasure of working.  Most of the time, you never meet the people you work with, never get past the avatar, or the user name.  I did qualify my statement with "most of the time".  After, you've worked with the same people for years as in any industry, you develop friendships.  A few of my friends and I were working on a game.  I was so absorbed in writing a small playfield back story my Dad and brother easily snuck up on me on their way to the kitchen.  There were times my Mom swore I was always the last one to the table.  My Dad was always full of questions.  He never ceased to want to be in the know with what my brother or I were doing.  That day his questions were directed toward me.  He wanted to know what a computer scientist, an engineer, a ceramic engineer, and a former military man were doing working on a video game.  Easy one.  I was writing the back story.  The guys each had their own things going.  I know they were working out the graphics, dimensions, and physics of the temple.  The material could be fictional but all the equations still had to add up.  My Dad laughed and my brother raised an eye brow.  "Why does a video game have to have a story or make sense?", Dad asked almost rhetorically.  I know what he was alluding to with his light-hearted question.  Technically it doesn't need a back story and it obviously never needs to make sense.  I told them we like for it to be as realistic as possible for immersion players.  Those are people who simply enjoy losing themselves in another world.  Besides, if we don't give one hundred percent to anything we chose to spend our time on, why would we expect anything we do to be successful.  This they understood. 

Nothing you do is insignificant.  Nothing you do is unimportant.         

The definition of normal differs from place to place.

Alyssah:  Momma, I met this guy and he's really weird.
Me:  What's weird about him?
Alyssah:  Well he's twenty three.  He doesn't drink or smoke but he goes out to dance; and, he's a virgin.  But, he's not crazy religious or anything.
Me:  Where's he from?
Alyssah:  Originally he's from the Chicago area but..
Me:  (smiling)
Alyssah:  What?
Me:  Think about it.  He's from the Chicago area.  They're lucky if they drive at that age.
Alyssah:  You're right.  Where he's from, he didn't drive or know anyone so there wasn't any reason to go out.  I guess it's not that weird.
Me:  It takes more than that to make a Chicago area boy weird. (smiles)
Alyssah:  (laughs) He actually pretty cool. (smiles)
Me:  Yeah?
Alyssah:  Yeah.

The definition of what is and isn't normal differs from place to place.  It can be behavioral, dietary, language - think colloquialisms (a danish is a sweet roll and a soda is pop is soda pop is a soft drink is a carbonated beverage), fashion, architecture, flora, and fauna -- to name a few.  Unless you familiarize yourself with the area you won't know what's considered normal.  It's worth noting that acceptable and normal are two entirely different things.  Normal sets a standard.  You never want to allow yourself to fall below acceptable on the normal scale.  It's far better to learn the influences of the area.  In this way, you can always improve yourself.  Falling above interesting on the normal scale places you into the exceptional.  It's an achievable goal you can strive toward.  

Anything but Roses

For as long as I can remember, my Dad always called us from his office on Mom's birthday or their anniversary.  He'd give us money to buy flowers to have delivered to Mom at her office.  He'd take care of the rest.  He always said "pick something nice that your Mom would like" with a smile then he'd roll his eyes and say "no roses".  My Dad grew up surrounded by rose bushes all his life.  He said they were far too common a flower to give to my Mom.  My brother and I always found this funny since my Dad could find the beauty in a dandelion.  He said if they weren't so common, they wouldn't be weeds.  After a time, we could see how a bouquet of wildflowers is infinitely more lovely and meaningful than a bouquet of roses.

After many years of buying flowers for our Dad, we learned many things.  My Dad loves my Mom in a way we can't put to words.  Trust me.  We've tried it.  Things have no meaning until you give them meaning.  It's nothing unless you believe it.  Things become what you perceive.  Those last three apply to most all things in life, not just selecting uncommon flowers for gifts.