Frame of reference is important

When my brother and I were young we used to recycle heavily because the salvage yards in our area paid well and every teen-ager needs extra cash for the week ends for food, entertainment, and fuel.  After glass bottles became obsolete, one of our favored items were one liter bottles that returned a nickle in our state or in the neighboring state where we visit relatives.  We lived in a small town.  Many of our classmates were sheltered.  The drug store had a candy shop inside.  Many of the stores were mom and pop shops.  For the longest time our grocers all had bakers and butchers in house.  Quality tends to suffer when a community grows.  The reason I bring up the size of my home town and recycling in particular is because I wanted to share the importance of point of reference.  I can illustrate a point using a popular television series episode for example, but there are still those who'll lose the popular culture reference.  Not everyone shares similar experiences in entertainment, education, occupation, travel, readings, lectures, seminars, the arts, or life.  Your life experiences build your frame of reference. 

My brother and I had a friend from school who was fascinated with culture and was unintentionally, extremely naive.  I recall her asking me what Mi hi was with the fascination and sincerity of a six year old.  I had no idea what she was talking about but assumed she was mispronouncing something.  This was the same friend that was fascinated by the "foreign fruit" in our home.  They were California grown mangoes but we didn't like to spoil her illusions.  I thought perhaps she was merely reading the packaging of items that looked unfamiliar to her and mispronouncing some ingredient.  I only figured out what she was talking about because she asked why we bought different soda if it looked and tasted the same.  The Mi hi or 5 cents she was talking about was Michigan Hawaii Oregon - recycle for a nickel.  Her frame of reference was entirely different than mine and she made a lot of assumptions.  We didn't purchase that soda.  However, the person that purchased it for us took notice that we carried one liter bottles instead of two.  I'm afraid we didn't explain to our kindly Auntie that brand didn't matter.  We purchased the one liters for price, convenience, size, and we selected the one with our state on the recycling list on the back.  It's funny that our friend assumed the smaller size meant it was a different kind of product.

Your frame of reference is built by life experience.  Without the proper frame of reference, many misunderstandings can occur.  Some of these misunderstandings may not be harmless.  It can cause unnecessary frustrations.  It only takes a moment of your time to cater your frame of reference for your intended audience.  Even if you don't feel context is important, even if it seems as if anyone and everyone should be able to comprehend it -- read it again.  Always remember, clarity is best.

Everything you do or say intentional or not is absorbed by your children

The holiday season is a time for giving.  Christmas is important to my family.  We have a large family.  Holiday shopping is a leisurely experience that takes many lengthy trips.  On one of our final excursions, it was just me and my oldest daughter.  We decided to stop for a bite.  Since we were in a mall, I sat in the food court with our purchases while my daughter hurried off toward the little counter we decided to purchase from beforehand.  As I was waiting, a large family stopped next to our table.  They were arguing quite loudly.  The mother of this unruly group declared there was no point in whining they would take a bathroom break but wouldn't be able to stop to eat until they bought all the presents they had to buy.  She then started listing who they had left as they continued to argue across the food court.  What caught my attention besides the fact that they were too loud, obnoxious, and ill-tempered to ignore was she said "had to buy".  One of her, I assume, sons made the remark about Aunt Donna? and possibly her family? (I wasn't actually trying to over-hear this conversation) but what he said was "we don't even like them".  I often feel that the definition of the word Gift is lost on people.  A Gift is something you give freely of yourself because you want to in order to bring happiness to its recipient.  It's not an obligation.  Although, I admit I know people who have those.  It's certainly not something you spend time on, torment your family doing, or give to people you don't even like.  Strangers are different.  Random acts of kindness are a manner by which you can be grateful for all you've been blessed.  Obligations are best left to mail order, catalog, or kiosk purchases.  Select a nice fruit basket, seasonal item, gift card, or something from this individuals line of work or area of interest.  It's quite difficult to go wrong in this way if you insist on exchanging holiday items with people you don't like or is just an acquaintance you feel you should give something to for the holidays.  Personally, I send my Christmas cards and holiday greetings.  I never purchase a Gift I don't believe the recipient will love.  For me, it defeats the purpose of giving if you didn't want to give that person a gift in the first place.  Perhaps some people just need to re-evaluate their values not for themselves but for what they're teaching their children who are our future.  Later tonight, my family wraps more gifts.  There's an all night coffee shop with wonderful coffee and snacks.  Thus far, there are sixteen of us here.  The children are helping wrap gifts.  Perhaps, I'll get my brother and brother-in laws to pick up some coffee and snacks, some to go and some standing orders for whoever needs it.  It's a cold night tonight.

Everything you do or say intentional or not is absorbed by your children.  Their definition of many things in life not just Gift depends on you.

Ask but never assume

My daughter recently switched apartments.  During the move, her Xbox hard drive was misplaced.  She dropped by a local shop to pick up another one and a longer HDMI cable.  The associate that was assisting her was making small talk.  Generally it's good practice to make small talk with your customers.  He was awkward.  One of the first things he said was "what kind of Xbox does your boyfriend have?"  When you make assumptions about the end use of any product, you risk losing that sale.  I purchased a nice waffle maker for a male member of my family this Christmas.  A few years ago, my brother gave me ties for my birthday.  Placing artificial labels on products isn't only limiting but can be fatal to your business.  When I purchase products, I don't expect them to be gender labeled nor do I expect sales associates to blatantly tag them as such.  If I find such inconsideration, there are other brands and other shops.  

Nothing is impossible.

A number of years ago, I met a talented developer.  After working together on a number of projects, we became good friends.  She's one of my better friends.  Though I'm familiar with her appearance from online video chats, I only learned her real first name recently when she asked mine.  It was never necessary information.  People often tell me it isn't possible to have close friends you've never met.  There's something missing.  If that's the case, the missing element isn't trust. 

Last year during November, we were working on a project.  I recall her telling me her headset was busted.  I made an offhand remark about all the sales going on and that it should be inexpensive to replace it.  She didn't respond for quite a long period of time.  I assumed she was working.  When she finally replied, she told me she couldn't replace the headset with just any headset.  She had sent off for a particular one.  At this point, you're likely thinking she's vain or spoiled.  I assure you that isn't the case.  She had never told anyone she worked with before me on that night.  She required special equipment because she was deaf.  The equipment allowed her to feel the sound waves as if she could hear them.  I would've never known had she not told me. 

I've never felt sorry for her.  She's one of the best.  Yet, I realize there are many things that are taken fore granted for the simple reason that they're gifts we're all born with so we never know what it's like to live without them.  Some people will never see the sunrise.  Others will never earn your trust.  Some people are born blessed.  Others work for their blessings.  She taught me to turn my disadvantages to my advantage and never to take anything fore granted.  Be grateful for your blessings but if you're not so blessed work toward it.  Nothing is impossible.    

Our world revolves around time and convenience.

My brother filters all our drinking water.  It takes forever.  There's nothing wrong with our water.  My daughter's senior science fair project a few years ago actually show it's far more pure than the surrounding areas.  My brother is convinced it makes a difference.  I don't like to argue.  Besides, one day we'll be under boil order and that won't be necessary.

We all like home made things, baked goods, fresh brewed latte, and fresh brewed tea.  I take the time to do these things.  Of course it's certainly simpler to use the Kuereg to brew tea.  Easier isn't always better.  It's still good to drink.  It's fast.  However if we have time fresh brewed tea is always welcome.

We like to mock my bother in law Mike.  They're friendly jibes.  He knows we love him.  He also makes the best coffee.  As well he should since he's particular about coffee beans and uses a coffee press and filtered water.  Our family exists on coffee.  Waiting is killer but worth it.

Our world revolves around time and convenience.  Patience isn't a strong suit for those who need things done an hour ago, yesterday, or last week.  Isn't it better to guarantee quality, to get exceptional by giving time than to settle for good.  The question is rhetorical.  The coffee I drink on a daily basis is extremely good.  I would even say some of it is delicious.  However, I know of few high class restaurants that can brew a finer cup of coffee than my brother in law Mike.  He's patient enough to rise and brew that every morning.

What's more important, time or excellence?  Can you find a balance you're willing to live with between convenience and quality?

People play games. Online, on the phone, and offline in real life. Most of the time I enjoy playing but not all the time.

"Click here if you remember [fill in the blank]".  Often, this will have an image instead of text.  This is an interesting game particularly if someone starts a discussion thread beneath the post.  I remember things from before I was born.  I read and am quite fond of antiques.  I'm a nightmare waiting to happen because I'm fond of games and not fond of divulging my age.  I've never been dishonest but then no one has ever really asked me precisely how I remember or I've been extremely lucky if you believe in luck.  When I was seventeen, I had the privilege of working in a clinic during the summer.  The doctors loved both the newest technology and the oldest antiques.  It would be an understatement to say that our offices were unique. 

People play this game because it's fun to belong and reminisce.  Who doesn't want to take a trip down memory lane?  It's always great for a few laughs.  People ask this question to judge your honesty on your age if you listed it.  If you recall something that was a short lived fad or was replaced by something else five or ten years before you were born and you have a funny story to go along with it, something doesn't add up.  Many people no longer list vital information such as age, sex, relationship status, location, education and work information.  If it's a personal account, it's no one's business but your own.  If it's a business account, you're there to make connections.  That information is business related and public anyway. 

All data is valuable.  Discerning male from female isn't impossible.  Relative location can be identified by your ip address or locations you visit.  Relationship status is a bit more difficult but as social networks are privy to all your posts, it only takes one mention.  "Click here if you remember..." verifies your age group.

There's another game you've probably played.  It involves a storyline.  You fill in this storyline with the nine people in your friend's box.  These friends, visible or not, aren't random.  They change based on an algorithm that takes into account friends you prefer, favorite, subscribe to, and follow before other friends.  People you just follow and pages you like are not considered friends and therefore not a factor.  Essentially, it's who you interacted with last over a period of time.  Not who interacted with you last over a period of time.  There's a difference.  Why is this information even interesting? It's the last nine friends you took the time to interact with -- obviously.  Think of these friends as your miniature network.  Now consider whether they all went to the same high school or college or worked for the same employers past or present.  Their points of intersection or what they have in common are most likely also what they have in common with you.

People play games.  Online, on the phone, and offline in real life.  It prevents them from having to ask direct questions that you'll probably reject answering.  A while back, I visited another state where I happen to have many relatives.  We had stopped at a familiar place.  I was seated comfortably waiting, reading my Kindle while my daughters decided what to order.  I was approached by a young woman who knew my family surname.  It's not difficult.  We look alike.  Instead of asking me who I am which by the way is culturally not rude.  She instead asked about Mama, everyone knows my Grandmother.  She explained which neighborhood she grew up in and asked which neighborhood I grew up in.  [Enter the game]  This information tells her what school district I would've attended in my youth.

As much as I enjoy games because I have nothing to hide and to be honest it's just a game, there are times I'd like to be asked what pizza toppings I prefer without knowing there's some underlying motivation. 

It's just a game. What's the harm in playing?

These particular examples are from Facebook.  However, it doesn't matter which social network you select.  Within the parameters of  posting, blogging, tweeting, and conversation the information is the same.  One of the most interesting things I've been observing is a unique, accurate, and simple manner by which social networks have it's members divulge personal information people wouldn't otherwise reveal.  It's a clever way to mine for data that social networks and those in marketing and sales can utilize free of charge. 

It's human nature to share that which brings you joy.  If it's fun for you, it'll certainly be fun and entertaining for all your friends.  It's just a game.  What's the harm in playing?  This mentality is what draws people in initially.  The entertainment factor as well as the feeling of not wanting to leave your friends out or be left out of the fun yourself is what keeps people participating. 

Have you played "how did we meet".  Unlike other social networks Facebook is unique in that most people do know one another.  They're family.  They're old or current classmates, co-workers, colleagues, friends, guild mates, or contacts - personal, work, or conference.  This particular trending post is a wildcard.  It shows up randomly but often after large updates, policy changes, or large changes in the population.  If you play or have played "how did we meet", Facebook now knows who you know in real life regardless of how you answered their question when you friended that individual.      

In addition to "likes" targeted marketing also has your input.  You'll see each of the following or some variation every year.  Answering is fun.  After all it's only a game.  What's the harm in playing? 

In January there's New Year.  "What's your resolution?"
In February there's Valentine's Day.  It's usually "What's your favorite kind of [fill in the blank]?"  Sometimes someone sends the "Do you remember your first [fill in the blank]?" post. 
In March well, spring has sprung.  "What do you like to do outdoors?"
In April there's Easter.  "What's your favorite color?" "What's your favorite number?" "What's your eye color?" "What's your favorite thing to plant?" This is the month of spring festivals and gardening posts.
In May there's Mother's day.  Interestingly enough, it's usually "Facts about the day your first child was born" and "Facts about my children" -- Let me pause a moment -- What parent can resist filling those out.  Of course, you've just told everyone where, when, and, what time your children were born as well as other personal details about your children.
In June there's Father's day.  "What my dad/grandad taught me?" "What's your favorite summer activity or summer memory or place to go on summer vacation?" Not to mention the actual summer vacation photographs.
In July there's Independence Day.  This is the annoyingly personal post.  It kind of looks like the "about me" + more.  "Where were you born?"  "Where did you grow up?"  "What street did you live on?"  "What grade school did you go to?"  "Did you or any member of your family ever serve in the military?" and so on.  Most people already know know all about me because they're on my Facebook.  If I wanted it public, I would've filled it out.  Sometimes this trending post migrates.  Most often it's here.
In August there are the autumn posts and the autumn festival posts.  This is when you'll see a great deal of logic, visual, optical illusion type games but particularly "once you see it or solve it, repost it".  It's a great way to tell how much of your population really plays.  The population is high in August, school starts.
In September you see the chilly weather food and beverage posts along with the fall festival posts. "What's your favorite fall food?" "What's your favorite fall beverage?" "What's your favorite fall activity?"
In October there's Halloween but also annual enrollment for benefits and congress is in session -- a lot of scary stuff going on here... Again, the interesting thing is it's usually "Are you dressing up this year?  If so as what?" "What's your favorite beer (because of Octoberfest) / alcoholic beverage?" "What's your favorite beverage / hot beverage?"  "What's your favorite kind of candy or sweets?"
In November there's Thanksgiving.  Almost everyone does the "I'm thankful for [fill in the blank]" posts until Thanksgiving.
In December there's Christmas and many other religious holidays.  The count down posts are popular as are the "If I could change one thing it would be [fill in the blank]" Facebook provides a year in review.  However, there's also a post that circulates "What I accomplished this year" It's what you believe you've accomplished and what you hope to accomplish.  It's a long one.  "What's your favorite winter activity?" is also popular.

I'm certain you can see the appeal to the questionnaires.  It's a great way to learn something you may not have known before about your friends.  It's a manner by which to know who actually reads your posts and to get people to interact with you.  It's a way to get more than a like.  It's a great conversation starter.

It's also a no cost avenue to provide your personal information to social networks and anyone else who might have access.  There's nothing wrong with much of the data.  Collectively, if ninety eight percent of the population say they adore the color blue then you'll likely find it trending on clothing, shoes, phone cases, purses, and other items next season.  As long as you're aware of what data you're making available and it's alright with you then there isn't an issue.  The main thing is to be informed of what you're doing online.

One last thing:  If you post Bitstrips of yourself coughing and say "watching TV for the third day in a row.  still sick."   Don't be surprised by targeted ads for cold and flu remedies.
  

Education costs money. But then so does ignorance.

Education costs money.  But then so does ignorance. - Sir Claus Moser

I would agree it's far more costly to be ignorant than it is to be educated.  To begin with there is the matter of employment.  People who are educated are far more capable of supporting themselves and their families.  While there is work for the ignorant, obviously it doesn't pay as well.  Further by definition ignorance is simply the state of being unaware or lacking knowledge.  That being the case, it would be easier to take advantage of one that is ignorant of labor laws or benefit packages for example than one who has been educated.  Being ignorant costs health care dollars and could cost expenses associated with accidents if one is unaware of certain labor laws that dictate how many consecutive hours they can work for that profession.  On the extreme end, if an individual or family cannot work due to lack of training, tax payer dollars support them.  Yes.  Education is costly but it's far better to be educated than ignorant.

Failure isn't a permanent state of being

I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed. –Michael Jordan

When you succeed at your given talent, many people will look up to you.  Many people will depend on you.  However, regardless of how hard you try or what you do, you will at some point fail.  Failing to meet expectations isn't a tragedy.  Failure isn't a permanent state of being.  It only becomes so if you allow it.  The decision is yours and yours alone.  You can become apathetic and choose a life of failure or instead become motivated to become something more.  People won't lose trust in you for failing and having the will to try again.  People will lose faith in you for failing and not caring you failed.  Those who reject apathy but accept failure and try again become successful.  You have a lifetime.  You could chose to do nothing and escape failure but live a sub par life of mediocrity or live life, take risks, and be successful in your own eyes.  Ultimately the choice is yours.         

I thought I was the only one

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”
-C.S. Lewis

Friendship is an interesting topic.  Friends have things in common.  Friends enjoy each others company.  The closer you are, the more you are aware of that person.  I have friends I've met briefly or have yet to meet in person who know me better than friends who live down the street.  While I understand the ideal that friendship should be based on mutual interests, "I thought I was the only one." seems very lonely to me.  In this world of great technological advancements often people forget how to communicate.

I am a product of my decisions

I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions. - Stephen Covey

Everyone has hardships.  Everyone has a life's story.  It isn't your background, family, education, friends, home, or job that define you.  Your circumstances may shape your outlook or viewpoint but your decisions ultimately determine results.  How you see life and how you live life are only separated by the fine line of your decision making.

About Violence

There are many variations on this post.  The last frame always has the same theme.  It's normally three to six frames in length.  In the first few frames it displays other video games with ludicrous examples.  In a three frame tier, it might show a popular farming game with the caption "This doesn't make me a farmer." in the first frame.  In the second frame, it might display a popular cooking game with the caption "This doesn't make me a cook."  Regardless of the number of frames the final frame is always some kind of popular action or shooter game with the caption "Why would this make me a murderer?"  It makes a good point.  If a person isn't violent to begin with or doesn't have violent tendencies, no amount of TV, movie, or video game violence will make that individual violent.  In our world, there must be reasons for everything.  To have closure, we must know why.  There are wars.  There are bombings.  There are shootings.  There are car accidents.  There are kidnappings.  There are murders.  There are runaways.  There are plane crashes.  There are so many tragedies.  Even more so, there are people seeking closure who just want a reason why.  It's easy to place the blame on something inanimate.  In many ways, it helps to relieve some of the pain of the loss.  This blame is misplaced but if it helps to heal a broken heart as long as they do no harm, it doesn't hurt to hate a rabbit as long as there are no plans to kill it.  "Rabbit" being whatever the victim's family chooses to blame. 

The magic comes from within

Alice came to a fork in the road.  “Which road do I take?” she asked.
“Where do you want to go?” responded the Cheshire cat.
“I don’t know,” Alice answered.
“Then,” said the cat, “it doesn’t matter.”
-Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland


This quote always makes me smile.  If you lack a purpose in life, it doesn’t matter what direction you take.  It’s preferable to do something than to sit by convinced that someone or something will come along to show you the way.  Life continues whether you want it to or not.  You determine how you live your life and where it takes you.  There is no magic cat to follow through wonderland.  The magic comes from within.


::Originally Posted http://blastkat.wordpress.com/2013/08/12/the-magic-comes-from-within/

It's good to have preferences but better to always educate yourself

I really enjoy enjoy eating mushrooms therefore it is very difficult to select a favorite.  However, my cousin Odie who I spent many summers in my youth at my Mama's[1] home with loves to wander in the woods and collect edible plants like sassafras root and oyster mushrooms.   Growing up, I grew fond of his licorice flavored sassafras teas and many many edible wild plant recipes in particular a stir fry including copious amounts of oyster mushrooms.  I suppose if I had to pick a favorite I would select oyster mushrooms.
[1] Note:  Mama is what we called our Grandmother on our Dad's side of the family.

This entry always makes me smile.  I grew up with my brother, many cousins, and two nannies to keep watch over us.  Our nanny Faye was always convinced Odie was trying to poison us.  She suspiciously tried each of his concoctions first.  Our nannies were highly superstitious.  I suppose it's cultural. 

These days there are many cultures.  I'm not just speaking in a traditional sense.  The Twitter culture for example is very different than the Facebook, the Google+, the Tumblr, or the Pinterest cultures.  Each has their own set of rules and  norms.  What may be acceptable on one social platform is out of the norm or completely unacceptable in another.  In social networking, you may have your preferences or favorite but unlike other topics it's your responsibility as a good citizen of each network to learn acceptable and unacceptable behavior.

It's not just social taboo or superstition.  Anything you do online is a permanent reflection of yourself.  You don't want a social misunderstanding to inadvertently represent you in a negative manner.  While it's possible to rebrand, there's always that lingering misstep that could've been avoided had you only bothered to properly educate yourself or at least tidy up per each site's privacy regulations.  It's good to have preferences but better to maintain a clean house so to speak, to keep up to date on the TOS for example and to always educate yourself.

My Favorite "Point"

I was once asked what my favorite point was...  It's an open ended question.  Most people answered typically -- pencil points, pen points, crayon points, laser points, to make a point... Well, that last answer was a bit more creative.  My answer was:  My favorite point is the one where I don't disap-"point" my children. It means a lot to me to make them just as proud of me as I am of them.

Parents always say, "Make me proud".  Children always seek their parent's approval.  I'm a single parent.  I've seen disappointment in my children's' eyes.  It has never been directed towards me.  I'd never want this.  I'd never want my children to be any less proud of me than my parents.  I often wonder if parents hear the way they speak to their children in public.  I wonder if they are capable of perceiving themselves in the same way strangers perceive them.  I wonder if they would modify their behavior if they could see what others see.  I wonder how they would react if they could see things through the eyes of their children.  There are so many people in life who you'd want to impress, who you'd want to be proud of you.  Shouldn't the first people on that list be yourself and your family?     

When you climb your way to the pinnacle of success, who do you want by your side?

People are so focused on immediate results and productivity, they tend to ignore the value of taking your time

Our grocery stores here are open all night.  When the day is through and the stores are empty, my youngest daughter and I leisurely stroll the isles.  It's nice and quiet.  All the fresh cooked from that morning bread, donuts, deli products, chicken, and such are half price or more off.  I've already pre-loaded our loyalty card with coupons before we go for extra savings.  Grocery shopping is a casual expedition with my daughter.  I suppose I'm torn with my favorite part of grocery shopping being the great value or the quiet experience of shopping at night.

Often it's the every day experiences that are a great reminder to slow down and not rush through life.  Shopping for groceries is a simple necessity.  In the silence of the night as we are able to leisurely shop, check and recheck our grocery list without the normal disturbances of daily life not only do we not rush and not forget items but we are also more apt not to take as long shopping.  We take our time.  We bother to recheck our grocery list.  It's less crowded.  The urgency to exit the store as quickly as possible isn't present.  Since, we bother to make certain we have all the necessary items, the need to return to the store immediately after leaving which causes stress doesn't exist.  There's great value in planning and taking your time.  Many people are so focused on immediate results and productivity, they tend to ignore the latter.  

Your best ideas tend to come when you least expect it

Nothing like a nighttime stroll to give you ideas. ~J.K. Rowling, "The Egg and The Eye," Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, 2000, spoken by the character Mad-Eye Moody

Your best ideas tend to come when you least expect it.  As such, it's always wise to keep a notepad or other means of recording your thoughts before you forget.  Often a moment of brilliance will glow brightly but only for a moment.  You're deceiving yourself in believing you'll be able to recall the details later.  Like a wonderful sunset the most brilliant of ideas will fade from your memory more quickly than the sun vanishes from the sky.  Relaxation may help you recall your thoughts or come up with superior ones.  The best ideas that are not acted upon are equal to no ideas at all.

A better place to live

I've had the flu for longer than normal.  I'll be the first to admit, I don't take very good care of myself.  My daughters are all quite busy but take the time to call me to check on me.  I suppose I must concern them.  Yesterday my youngest dropped by after class.  Today my oldest was called off work.  She dropped by and spent time with me.  I spoke with my other daughter (who has to work) both yesterday and today on the phone.  I had lunch with my niece the last few days.  They're all too kind and look out for me.  They also do their best to keep my spirits high.  I've always been grateful to my family and friends.  I suppose the best way to summarize all my family and friends do for me is "The only true test of values, either of men or of things, is that of their ability to make the world a better place in which to live." - Henry Ford, Ford News  I wouldn't be where I am today without the caring and support of my family and friends.  They create the most favorable existence for me.

The true art of deceiving oneself lies in not over-analyzing the situation

"I lie to myself all the time, but I never believe me." - S.E. Hinton

"I'm fine" is probably the biggest lie I tell myself.  Back in January of 2012, I fell and hit my Dad's storage chest.  My ribs hurt.  I told myself and everyone else I was fine for three months.  By then, I developed pneumonia.  When I saw my doctor, he did a chest X-ray.  I broke three ribs.  He wasn't happy with me.  I broke three ribs the preceding year on the other side of my chest.  I was fine then as well.

Why do we lie to ourselves?  It's not intentional.  It's a reflex or a reaction.  It's something you do without thinking about it.  Admitting certain things bother us is a sign of weakness.  It says there is something in this world you can't handle on your own.  Your mind goes into defensive mode.  In this case this was odd for me, since I'm neither afraid of doctors or hospitals.  I just don't think of myself as weak.  It bothers me.  If I would've given myself the opportunity to think about it, I'd know I wasn't fine.  However, the true art of deceiving oneself lies in not over-analyzing the situation.

Avoidance is another reason to lie to yourself.  If you have a dreaded meeting you're trying to avoid and your mind tells you it's Wednesday instead of Thursday so you miss the meeting.  You've effectively lied to yourself to avoid an uncomfortable situation.  In truth, you most likely only postponed it.  However, your stress level decreases as you reschedule for a much later date.  In truth, if you would've thought about it, glanced at the calendar on your phone or in your planner, you'd know the day and date.  The art of avoidance through deception didn't allow it.  Your mind likely told you that you were too busy.

Intentionally deceiving others is unconscionable.  Deceiving oneself isn't possible without the suspension of disbelief.  I lie to myself all the time.  "No.  I won't be late."  If I hit traffic, this is a less than comforting lie.  I have however successfully deceived myself.  On those occasions my mind found an ulterior motive on it's own.  I broke my ribs in January after my Dad passed away.  I was needed at home.  After everyone returned to their homes, I started feeling ill.  I went to the doctor.  Apparently, I broke three ribs and developed pneumonia because it went untreated.

I would agree the quote is true unless your will is strong.  There are many ways to successfully deceive yourself.  There are many positive reasons to do so, for example:  convincing yourself the room is empty or contains one person so you aren't nervous during a speech.  The key is to identify whether or not it's necessary.  If it's not necessary you won't believe yourself anyway.  However, if it's important don't over-analyze and keep yourself busy. 

Profile Blocked

You request me as a friend.

I check your profile. Well... Alright... Honestly, I may know you. I may not. I leave you in my requests for later. After all, you gave me no details. Most people who have the slightest notion I may not remember do.

Last week you changed your profile photograph. This is not unusual. It looks nothing like the previous photo. Perhaps it is a relative. Same name. Same profile. It is not a private one. I looked. It still doesn't ring a bell.

Yesterday you changed your name. People do that. Weird. It isn't your name at all...

Today when I looked in requests...  Different photograph. Different name. Different profile... Alright I definitely don't know you. Profile blocked.


On every social network that allows it, I have a public page and a personal profile.  I don't add people I don't know to my personal profile.  I can tell you how I know everyone on my personal profile.  I wrote this several years ago on Facebook.  I still don't add random people to my Facebook.  I still know everyone on my profile.  That's my real name and my real photograph.  My family is on Facebook.  My friends are on Facebook.  My former classmates are on Facebook.  My coworkers, colleagues, and peers are on Facebook.  Very rarely do I receive a strange request but when I do, it's a particularly suspicious one.  It's never concerned me.  After all, that's why there's a block function.  I never understood the people who fail to utilize it.    

Misinterpretation

Never hold your head high with pride or ego.
Remember...
Even the winner of a Gold Medal gets the medal only when he puts his head down!
-Unknown

Regardless of how remarkable your achievement, you should always be courteous and respectful.  You should never be arrogant.  It's not a complicated message but in my opinion, often many people take simple statements and attempt to twist them to their own advantage.  It's not just a puzzle game for fun.  It's a deliberate and intentional assignment of meaning where there isn't any evidence suggesting such a meaning exists.  It's one thing to analyze words or to engage in word play and quite another to take them out of context altogether.  It always makes me uncomfortable to see a great quote attached to an awkward picture, drawing, or meme giving it another meaning.  I've seen many.  However, this one lends itself to misinterpretation.  I'm not saying my interpretation is the only correct one.  Nor am I saying I disagree with all other interpretations of this quote.  I'm simply stating that intentionally distorting something for your own personal agenda is wrong.  You'd be better off finding something else that is more agreeable to your cause or making an outright statement yourself.

hum·ble

[huhm-buhl, uhm-] Show IPA adjective, hum·bler, hum·blest, verb, hum·bled, hum·bling.

adjective

1.

not proud or arrogant; modest: to be humble although successful.

2.

having a feeling of insignificance, inferiority, subservience, etc.: In the presence of so many world-famous writers I felt very humble.

3.

low in rank, importance, status, quality, etc.; lowly: of humble origin; a humble home.

4.

courteously respectful: In my humble opinion you are wrong.

5.

low in height, level, etc.; small in size: a humble member of the galaxy.

verb (used with object)

6.

to lower in condition, importance, or dignity; abase.

7.

to destroy the independence, power, or will of.

8.

to make meek: to humble one's heart.

Origin:
1200–50; Middle English  ( h ) umble  < Old French  < Latin humilis  lowly, insignificant, on the ground. See humus, -ile

It's putting an identity out there for others to recognize

Note:  I originally posted this on Facebook.  I omitted the name.  It's an amusing albeit embarrassing anecdote.

x: Where did you get that?
Me: Get What?
x: That!
Me: What!?
x: That car!
Me: umm sweetie I don't drive. You mean my daughter's car?
x: No I mean THAT car [name's car].
Me: (confused) What?
x: You know [names car] from [game].
Me: Oh. That's a promo item for that game.

I alpha and beta test many games.  However, in all the years I've been testing this is definitely new.  Many people play to relax and escape the pressures of everyday life.  In some MMORPG's, you can travel.  You can visit real places.  For a while, I was a tour guide.  This was challenging.  To be honest, I greatly preferred the fantasy side over touring realistic sites.  For me, it's simpler to memorize a storyline with a plot than to learn basic facts about historic monuments.  I noticed it doesn't matter whether or not the players are in a real setting or a fantasy setting.  The fact is they become very attached to their role and their avatar.  Sometimes when it's time to turn off the monitor and return to real life these people are stuck in a sort of limbo.  They're halfway between reality and fiction.  

It reminds me of a joke my daughter has with a few of her friends on Facebook, "pics or it didn't happen".  This is because on Facebook, unless you're using a third party application or mobile chat, you can say anything and no one can prove otherwise.  Who really knows for certain where Alyssah and I were the other day when we were chatting with Danny.  Apparently Danny does because mobile chat told him just the same way it gave away his location.  In social media, people create identities for themselves whether they intend upon doing so or not.  If it's intentional, it's branding.  It's putting an identity out there for others to recognize.  People create brands and roles to establish themselves.  When it's time to power off the monitor and return to real life, those who have truly adopted roles in social media can't do so and always have some form of technology giving notifications.  It's a part of who they've become.  They're halfway between the virtual world online and reality.   

The importance of a backup tree

(Arleenah's Phone) Buzz...
(Arleenah) Sleeping...
(Arleenah's Phone) Buzz...
(Arleenah) Sleeping...
(Two Hours Later - Arleenah's Voicemail) Arleenah! Let Me into Lovelace I Forgot My Keys!
(Arleenah) O.O
(Arleenah - calls back...) I'm so sorry. I was asleep and I'm not even home...
(Arleenah's Friend [laughing as he cuts her off]) Oh it's okay. I found my keys in my pocket.

All my daughters were home for break.  Apparently this young man has many acquaintances.  His "friends" invite him to parties, to go out in general, out to eat, to play video games, pretty much anything social.  However, when it comes down to something important like his studies, work, needing to talk, or an emergency, he has one friend on campus -- my daughter.  This brings up a rather obvious subject, the need for a back up plan.   Since my daughter went home, had he not found his key, his options would've been limited.  It was during break.  There were fewer students and staff.  He would've been waiting a long time.  I'm certain his response would've been his key card is his primary means of entry.  My daughter is his back up plan.  To which my response would've been that he needs a backup to his backup or a backup tree.  Therefore if one branch fails he can move to the next branch until he meets with success.  As a side note, I've seen the "how to get into each apartment / home" in case of emergency tree each of my daughters has in her planner.  It's not unreasonable.  My youngest has access to not only her apartment if she loses her own key but also her older sister's apartment, her oldest sister's home, my aunt's home and my home as do her sisters and my niece.  It's not only important to have a backup plan but a backup to your backup as well.  It ensures success should something unpredictable occur in life, education, and business.     

Motive makes a difference

Alyssah: Mamma smell my hair
me: (smells her hair)
Alyssah: What does it smell like?
me: meat?
Alyssah: No! (runs out of the room then back in with a tube of leave in hair conditioner, opens the lid and says) like this!
me: it smells pretty, like you after a bath.
Alyssah: Yuss! 

I'm an extremely honest person.  If you don't want an honest opinion, don't ask me.  However, if I would've known her motive for asking this particular question, I might've answered differently in the first place.  It's not that I would've lied.  Dishonesty is such an ugly thing.  Knowing people's motives helps us to better understand them and their behavior.  My family has very thick hair.  Everyone's hair retains strong scents easily.  One of my daughter's hobbies is cooking.  She was making lasagne.  She had been browning ground beef and spicing it.  Her sisters and cousin were teasing her about smelling like meat after she put dinner in to bake and had changed clothes.  She was feeling a little sensitive.  I should've responded with empathy instead of confusion.  However, I'd been busy and was unaware of the situation.  I responded honestly without knowing her motives.  Sometimes brutal honesty isn't the best policy.  It's of benefit to learn motive first then respond accordingly in life and in business.  A simple "why do you ask" would have sufficed.  In this situation the outcome wasn't tragic or painful and had no negative repercussions but that isn't always the case.  It's always advantageous to use your best judgement in how to respond with integrity after learning the motive for the inquiry.          

Times have changed

It's not unusual for people to photograph their meals.  In all likelihood, the photograph is for Instagram, Foursquare, or even Facebook.  Years ago, I used to photograph my meal for some very different reasons.  My family is in the habit of ordering something large and sharing or many of us would end up ordering the same entree`.  If we decided to visit again or after some time had passed then I had a dated photograph and notes to answer the "what did we order the last time" question.  Also, there are a plethora of unusual food related allergies in my family in varying degrees with a diversity of results.  Therefore, having exact records of what we ate and when is always useful.  Back then, "So you enjoy photography" was a common question.  Today, it's assumed I'm taking a photograph for Instagram.  Times have changed.  What was once viewed as foreign behavior has now become the norm.

The importance of writing things down and reading it

I'm a large proponent of writing down items of importance.  I've carried a journal since I was young.  My first was a gift from my Dad to write down important things.  When I started college I switched to a planner.  When I entered the work force, I started using Franklin Covey.  While I prefer Franklin Covey, I'm alright with a good day planner.  It's always a good idea to be prepared.  You can't be prepared, if you haven't planned for it.  It's just that simple.

Yesterday my youngest daughter called and advised me she would be dropping in from college.  She's starting work study and requires certain documents.  Dutifully, I retrieved these documents from our safety deposit box in the bank and awaited her visit.  She's always very thoughtful with her visits and makes certain I don't need anything.  We went to lunch and ran errands.  She's delightful company.  Of course, I wrote down why she drove home previously when she called me.  She knew why she drove home.  However, by the end of her visit she hugged me good bye, kissed me on the cheek and drove away.  I'm always contently tired after her visits.  As I lay napping, I had an awful feeling I was forgetting something.  I forced my eyes open.  There on my desk was the envelope I removed from the bank for Alyssah.  Oh snap.

I called Alyssah.  She was a half an hour away already but she needed those documents for school.  She took the next exit and turned around.  My Alyssah also carries a planner.  She also wrote down not to forget to retrieve the documents.  The point is often when you are enjoying yourself, items of importance will slip your mind.  Although both my daughter and I wrote down this particular item of importance, neither of us thought to look at our planners before she left.  That's unusual.  We normally plan another lunch or dinner in advance.  It's not only significant to acknowledge what should be noted and write it down accordingly but it's equally if not more so important to refer to your journal, notes, or planner.  It's of no use to have it written down, if no one ever sees it.    

If you wait to act you'll be left behind

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. - Chinese Proverb

If you haven't already done so, do it.  It's of no use to procrastinate.  Although, an argument can be made that it could've been done before therefore it can be done later, this logic is flawed.  Often it must be done now because it should've been done sooner and waiting will be too late.  This law applies to many things.  It's not just limited to nature.  In business if you wait to act you'll be left behind.  Waiting until the last minute with finances or benefits could cost you in the end.  With your health, if you ignore warning signs, don't take precautionary measures, or wait when you feel ill, you may place your life in danger.  Life's lessons from a tree, sow the seeds you should have already grown today for a better tomorrow. 

Personal satisfaction and growth can be achieved by doing your best

Lunch with Alannah
Alannah:  Hello.  I'd like two double cheeseburger meals, one with a sweet tea and one with a Dr. Pepper and a grilled chicken salad with a sweet tea.
Person taking our order:  K. So that's two double cheeseburger meals, a sweet tea and a salad.
Alannah:  Yes but that's a grilled chicken salad.
Person taking our order: Do you want crispy or grilled chicken on that salad.
Alannah:  (stares blankly in frustration for a moment then repeats slowly) grilled chicken salad
Person taking our order:  (sounding chipper and pleasant) So crispy or grilled chicken?
Alannah:  (loses it) Why would you put crispy chicken in a grilled chicken salad?! Grilled.  I want grilled.  (gives me her patented can you believe that look)

Lunch with Hailey
Hailey:  Hi!  I want a McChicken, no mayo and a double cheeseburger, no pickles and two sweet teas.
Person taking our order:  McChicken, no lettuce, double cheeseburger, no ketchup, two sweet teas.
Hailey:  Wait.  No.  Repeats our order -- I might mention it took three times for this poor person to get it punched in correctly.  Hailey checked the bag before leaving and had to return the sandwiches.  For some reason, they were determined to give us the no mayo/no ketchup order.  My niece is pretty persistent about getting the correct order if we haven't already left the premises.  Hailey has her incredulous are you serious eye roll for these situations.

I probably should also mention that during both these lunches we went inside to order as the drive though lanes were crowded.  

Other than the fact that I enjoy having lunch with my daughters and niece, you might be curious about the point of these two particular instances.  It doesn't have as much to do with my family as it does with those who served us.  If you don't enjoy your job or stand nothing to gain from it, you're less likely to do your best.  Except in the drive through, it was surprisingly not particularly crowded those two lunch days.  I recall thinking the employees looked bored.  When Alannah and I went to lunch, there was an employee meeting in the booth behind us.  I recall noticing when we were through and leaving the restaurant.

I understand the transitional nature of work at fast food places.  There are few incentives.  Yet, they are fortunate to be employed.  There are many who aren't as well off.  It seems ungrateful not to put forth your best effort in anything you attempt just because you've been graced with the opportunity.  It's an opportunity that is sadly out of reach for many.

In life there are so many things taken fore granted because it's something to which you're accustomed.  You're accustomed to having food and beverages when you want them, running water, electricity, transportation, a means by which to earn currency, a home, communication, and technology among other conveniences.  What do we do with all we have and how do we give back.  Many people take all they have fore granted, always want more, are never satisfied, don't put forth their best yet expect to be rewarded, and complain when they're inconvenienced.  There is a quote by Theodore Isaac Rubin that says "Happiness does not come from doing easy work but from the afterglow of satisfaction that comes after the achievement of a difficult task that demanded our best."  While I'll agree not all tasks are difficult, I still believe a great deal of personal satisfaction and growth can be achieved by doing your best.  

 

Eighty percent of success is showing up

Eighty percent of success is showing up. - Woody Allen

Some children believe they can fail to report to class and still succeed.  That's simply not the case.  School and college are supposed to prepare young people for the real world.  Attendance at your place of employment is crucial for lateral and upward mobility, advances in pay grade and title or rank, evaluations, and even the approval of optional benefits and scheduling flexibility.  To succeed in life, you must be present to participate.  

Nothing is impossible

Nothing is impossible, the word itself says, “I’m possible!” - Audrey Hepburn

This is only so if you believe it.  If you believe it's possible, you'll try it until you achieve it.  However, if you believe it's impossible, you'll likely become discouraged and give up.  It's all in your attitude.  "I'm possible" is a great way to motivate yourself.  It's a wonderful manner by which to remind yourself that you can do anything you set your mind on doing.  Without self motivation or the motivation of others, long or difficult tasks become tedious and complicated.  It's too simple to procrastinate until you're so far behind it's almost futile attempting to get caught up in a timely manner.  If this occurs, instead of giving up resign yourself to the fact that you must start over.  Often a fresh start will give you a new perspective on things.  It also lightens the heavy load of being behind because you're back to day one.  While that may seem daunting, think of it as starting fresh with a lot of experience behind you.  Never give up.  Always believe in yourself and nothing will be out of your reach.

Life isn’t a television show or a video game

I don’t watch television.  My daughter sends me links on Facebook that say, “Watch this one next.  You’ll like it….” I look it up on Netflix and stream the entire series in the background while I work.  If it’s interesting enough to cause me to want to actually watch it, I’m pretty impressed with the writers.  Most shows she sends me are pretty consistent in content. 

I find a character like this occurs in pretty much all of them (animated or not).  Typically, the figure is shadowed, feared, and has power of some sort.  Therefore, unless you watch the show, I could conceivably post a glowing eyed scary individual from any of them and you’d think, “hmm, interesting bad guy.”  While I’m on the subject, if you play video games, you probably have the same opinion.  I would imagine, it’s because you’ve seen this glowing eyed individual in a cut  scene or fought him/her/it on a boss level.  Of course as a gamer your opinion is likely leaning toward evil as opposed to interesting.  In any case powerful, glowing eyed, shadow person is a bad guy. 

This a common perception.  However, not all intimidating figures are bad or intentional antagonists.  I suppose we’re brought up in a world with preconceived notions of good and evil.  However it’s not always the case.  Life isn’t a television show or a video game.  It would be far simpler that way.  People don’t follow scripts or behave according to predetermined patterns.  You don’t have the insight from a flashback, flash fore ward, or a cut scene. You have to deal with real uncertainty and unpredictability.   On the topic of reality, your boss, co-worker, parent, or relative isn't evil and doesn't have some hidden agenda.  The barista didn't try to poison you this morning.  The driver of that car was just reckless.  No one tried to intentionally kill you.  If you're thinking this way in the back of your mind, you might consider a vacation from technology.  Otherwise, if you are so inclined for a little while, you can visit another place created in the mind of a writer or developer.  It’s almost always an interesting trip. 

On the subject of trips, this is certainly something I'd recommend.  Whether it's in a car, on a train, plane, just around the block, in a book, on television, through your computer screen, tablet, console or by closing your eyes at some point everyone requires rest to properly handle daily life.  Your state of mind influences your decision making process.  Therefore when you're faced with uncertainty or something unpredictable occurs you're well equipped to properly manage the situation.  Being rested also impacts your senses and memory.  Having control of your faculties ensures you don't over look items of importance.  Having a sharp memory allows you to learn from past mistakes so you can truly move fore ward.  There is no rewind or reset on life.  However, if you learn from your past both good and bad, manage not just your uncertainty but also your time and your small victories, remember your decisions are your own, and take responsibility for all your actions -- you don't need them.  You'll do fine.    

Education is a necessity

Dad: Whose is this?
Me: Mine
Dad: You never went here.
Me: Yes I did.
Dad: Nooo... (confused)
Me: Yes.
Note to self: Frequent moving confuses my family.
I don't move my entire household as frequently as I did in my twenties. I'm far more reliable now.  Some things change and some stay the same.  Education is a necessity.  It always shall be of great importance.  Fortunately, I enjoy it greatly.  I admit I probably should have stayed with one university.  However, often it's impractical.  My extremely large collection of old alumni cards is certainly interesting.  My viewpoint is that if I'm capable of keeping my skills up to date as well as learning new areas of expertise, it will ultimately benefit my future.  “Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”- George Bernard Shaw  I'd have to agree with Mr. Shaw.  The best way to continue moving fore ward is by improving yourself and to always continue learning. 

Certain words trigger certain responses regardless of logic

Alyssah: I'm not going to be in class tomorrow.
Teacher: Come here
Alyssah: (moves closer)
Teacher: No. Here.
Alyssah: (moves closer)
Teacher: Now what is so important that you have to miss my class?
Alyssah: Well I have to go to court...
Teacher: (moves quickly away) ...What did you do!
 
When my daughter was still in high school, she decided she wanted to change her surname to mine. That was back in 2011.  I find it humorous and interesting because most people had the same reaction to the words "I have to go to court" although my daughter is an honor student who has never been in any trouble.  It's almost a reflex reaction.  Certain words trigger certain responses regardless of logic.  In having such knowledge regarding what the general public will react to as well as what certain sub groups are more certain to react favorably towards, individuals could potentially make use of this information to his or her benefit both in a public speaking forum or in a private interview.

It is not enough to have a good mind, the main thing is to use it well

It is not enough to have a good mind -- the main thing is to use it well.
-Anonymous

I love this quote.  It reminds me of my Dad.  When my Dad used to get angry with us over something foolish we'd done he'd always say, "use your brain".  I believe we frustrated him so much because he knew every single one of us was intelligent enough to know better.  Therefore, when one of us crossed over into what I refer to as "unwise territory" that one not only worried Dad but also irritated him.  As he put it, we're all well educated and intelligent, there is no reason for this to happen.  I love my Dad.  He had a good point.  There are many brilliant, knowledgeable, well informed people in this world.  What use is it to have a good mind, if it's not properly utilized?  What good is this knowledge or information if it's not put to use or shared?  Will their brilliance continue to shine or will it fade from lack of use?  Use your brain but use it well or your mind will be no good to anyone.

::For My Dad - Love Ana   

Choose your path to take control of your future

If the wind will not serve, take to the oars. – Latin Proverb

Life doesn't always give ideal conditions.  One can wait and see what happens next or take control of the situation.  By taking control of the future you determine the probable outcome because you choose your path.  You decide which direction to take.  You're not simply adrift at the mercy of the changing winds of life.  It's far simpler to overcome great obstacles, even unforeseen challenges when you're in control.   

Ultimately the decision to act and follow the crowd or to stand for something less popular lies with each individual

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.” - Mark Twain


I'm reminded of lemming, wildebeest, and salmon.  Of course, nature and genetics account for their follow behavior.  As much as people like to anthropomorphize animal behavior, there isn't a comparison to human actions.  Animals act on instinct.  People act by choice.  While it's possible to get swept up in the commotion of things, ultimately the decision to act and follow the crowd or to stand for something less popular or different lies with each individual.  People aren't genetically predisposed one way or the other.  Nature doesn't make people leaders or followers.  Individuals choose to nurture those tendencies within themselves and whether or not to act upon them.

Without experience, life becomes filled with pre-packaged emptiness

Often convenience makes people lazy.  This isn't an arbitrary statement.  I've been observing this for sometime.  To be honest, my family has been doing construction on various parts of our home for a while now.  No contractors, just family.  It can be a bit overwhelming.  Convenience foods fill a need.  My family lacks time.  Fast food may not be ideal but we're eating.  This condition has improved considerably as of late.  Our Mom  has decided to make use of the copious amounts of vegetables and herbs from our gardens. 

The only reason I even brought up the whole issue of convenience food is at this particular moment in time we have graham crackers and marshmallows in our home.  I know, I bought them.  We have many varieties of suitably delicious chocolate as well, my brother bought the chocolate.  All the ingredients are irresistibly sitting in the kitchen.  Therefore, it somewhat confuses me that we have pre-made s'mores.  I won't argue the product is good.  They're just not as good as the home made variety but they'll do for a quick snack. 

However, I question their existence in the first place.  I timed it.  It doesn't even take a minute (approximately thirty to forty five seconds depending on how quickly you work) to make a s'more the lazy way in the microwave.  It takes just a bit longer (not much) if I insist upon using a heat source or an existing open flame to toast the marshmallow before assembling the s'more. 

Half the fun of living is in the experience.  If you remove the involvement, it may still taste good, look good, feel good, but you are only perceiving what the brand wants you to see.  Without contact, life becomes filled with pre-packaged emptiness.  You just don't realize how empty it is because you've never had the opportunity to experience what it's supposed to be like first hand.

I must have appeared just a bit crazy

The one thing I can honestly say about social media is you have the opportunity to meet some fascinating individuals.  A few people I've had the opportunity to engage with have the interesting profession of voice actor.  I suppose the main quality that impresses me the most is the ability to convey emotion with nothing but the sound of his or her voice.  It's impressive.  On one occasion I was listening intently to "bloopers" while Pinteresting.  I've seen the show in question.  I honestly don't need to watch it to know at what point in the script the actors are reading.  In any case, I was enjoying the missed lines and errors.  I thought I was alone.  I've been accustomed to wearing headphones for some time.  However, it's normal for me to be involved in a chat (video or otherwise), in a class, seminar, webinar, or listening to music.  This day I was doing none of those and I felt as if I was being watched.  As I turned around, my Mom slowly pulled her hand away.  She'd intended on tapping me on the shoulder.  I realized I must have appeared just a bit crazy.  It obviously seemed as if I was laughing for no reason.  Mom just wanted to know if I wanted anything for lunch.  However, there's no telling how long she had been standing there puzzled by my unusual behavior.  Way to go - me.  Lesson learned, either be more attentive or cut back on the multi-tasking lest I appear to be something I'm not.  I would suppose this lesson applies both online and off.  Although I admit this is the first time I've honestly been concerned with offline perceptions due to my online activities.  Usually it's the other way around.      

I enjoy quality time with my family

I enjoy trying new things.  One Social Media Network that facilitates this is Pinterest.  My daughters and I find many projects to try there.  One such project involved dessert cuisine.  It was for Reece's Peanut Butter Cookie Dough Dip.   On a week end when all my daughters were home for our annual garage sale, I purchased the ingredients.  The results were fantastic.  I very much enjoy trying new things but more than that, I enjoy quality time with my family. 

Changes

Fall is a busy time.  I'm auditing a few classes.  My schedule has significant changes.  I honestly don't want to be inconsistent with my blogging.  In an effort to establish a schedule, I'm changing this from a daily post to a weekly post.  I'll publish consistently every Friday at 4pm CST.  I'll publish extra content as I'm able.  However, I wanted to establish a consistent time of publication.  Any additional content will also be scheduled for publication at 4pm CST if I'm able to write it.  Otherwise (just to be clear), my regular publication day and time for this blog is every Friday at 4pm CST.  I thank you for reading.

Ana

 

Life is what you make of it

Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. – John Maxwell

The truth of the matter is even if you do nothing, life will go on without you.  The most mundane of errands can be fulfilling, exciting, annoying, aggravating, or make you angry.  Life is what you make of it.  When someone indicates they've had "a bad day" or "a good day", it's just a matter of perspective.  People who treat life as a foe to be beaten are going to have more "bad days" than those who consider life a friend or a journey.  In life there are only experiences.  You decide whether each experience is positive or negative, what impact it has and how much it honestly alters your life.    

There is a Price to Pay for Every Action Whether You are an Open Book or Hide in the Shadows.

I’ve noticed the anonymity of being online emboldens people.  Some people are braver or driven to do things they wouldn’t otherwise do in real life.  Real life has repercussions.  People know who you are in real life.  People can see you in real life.  People talk in real life.  It’s uncomfortable.  There is a certain safety when you are anonymous.  There are those who feel as if they are capable of so much more.  Some people even feel as if they are capable of anything.  For some, being behind a computer screen is akin to wearing a mask.  Sadly many do not realize that there is a price to pay for every action whether you are an open book or hide in the shadows.

Don't miss the doughnut by looking through the hole

Don't miss the doughnut by looking through the hole. 
-Author Unknown

I find this quote interesting.  Essentially if you're looking or trying too hard, you'll miss what you're looking for to begin with or your goal.  It was right in front of you all along.  The reward would've been sweet had you only seen it.  Unfortunately in your zeal to find something better or a better way, you overlooked it.  You should simplify your strategy.  You should clarify your goals.  You should avoid over complicating your actions and procedures.  Don't fail to notice your objective because you're staring at a passing light.   

You Determine Your Own Path

I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.
-Bilbo Baggins
The Lord of the Rings, Farewell speech, Chapter 'A Long-Expected Party'.

Often I believe people are quick form opinions of others based on appearance, reputation, or the opinions of others.  It's like being a character in a book.  Everyone seems to know your past, everything about your present, and assumes how you'll be in the future as if it's already written.  It's unfair that most people only know you half as well as they should; and still judge you more than you deserve.  It's up to you to decide whether you'll remain stereotyped into a predetermined role or if you determine your own path.

If it doesn't look like advertising, you may actually respond to it.

I follow Chris Pirillo on Tumblr.  This was one of his posts.  It made me laugh.  Many companies use this marketing strategy.  If it doesn't look like advertising, you may actually respond to it.  Using an AI to predict what you'll favor based on past interactions has become commonplace.  Generating natural language so the communications seem familiar as if they comes from a friend, makes people more receptive to the message.  Most recommendations come from friends and family.  While you may not trust companies, you certainly remember and trust an old friend.  When you glance at an application and see, "Check out..." it's easy to assume that recommendation came from a friend. 

Respect and Trust aren't Granted. They are earned.

I had a discussion with a friend. He complains no one respects their elders, superiors, or authority. I comprehend his point of view but don't subscribe to it. I don't expect respect because of age, occupation or experience unless it's shared. Respect is earned by those who've earned your own. In a perfect world, I'd agree but the world isn't perfect. It isn't how others act, it's how you do.

I wrote this years ago.  It's regarding a colleague of mine.  He's an older gentleman.  When I started working with him I was in my twenties.  He was older than my Dad at the time.  Yet he never treated me any differently than if we were the same age.  He didn't care much for many of the younger people who worked with us.  Admittedly they were easily intimidated and infuriating.  Even people ten or twenty years older than me were afraid of him.  They said he was always in a foul mood and never smiled.  That by the way isn't true.  I used to eat lunch with him on many an occasion.  He loved to laugh.  

Often people go into situations with preconceived ideas and notions.  These sabotage their ability to form normal connections and relationships.  In their minds, for one reason or another whether they're aware of it or not it's already a certain way.  These are the types of people who although they may love their jobs somehow feel limited at work.  They see no lateral or upward mobility.  They feel confined.  Some of them perceive imaginary career doors, walls, and ceilings.  Eventually many of them move on.  It's not out of unhappiness but to seek new or better opportunities.  

From my personal experience of having to utter the words "He or She isn't that bad or doesn't hate you." or "Of course you're appreciated or respected." many times in the past, it's a communication issue.  More than communication, it's an interaction and trust issue.  When you work with others, it's important to trust them.  Trust like respect is earned.  You can't earn either if you're unwilling or afraid to interact and engage your co-workers, colleagues, subordinates and superiors.  Do so openly and honestly.  Everyone is there to accomplish the same greater goals.  No one will want to work with you if they feel you aren't being genuine and trustworthy.  Remember, someone working under their own private agenda isn't someone people will want to place their faith in nor depend upon. 

Unlike real life, online bad days can be deleted

There's this filter that keeps you from saying things you'll later regret. This filter exists in your mind. Think before you open your mouth and you'll be fine. The same applies for anything you publish. Make no mistake, if you post, tweet, say, seem to think, or upload something you have published it as a virtual representation of something you believe. Unlike real life, bad days can be deleted. They may not be easily forgotten but at least no one else is going to believe you're always that way. 

It's important in a virtual community not to take things too seriously. People will have differing points of view. People view their profile page or their news feed as their online home. Therefore they feel they have the right to express whatever personal views and opinions they have at the moment. Often they don't consider the audience. Unlike real life our virtual homes have the ability to impact the lives of so many more people. 

It's sad to see so many people unhappy because they feel personally attacked by their friends or colleagues. Most assuredly unless you really are by name overwhelmed by a flood of negativity, nothing that any of your friends or colleagues post, tweet, say, seem to think, or upload is intentionally directed at you. Consider it as offensive as the evening news. You certainly don't agree with all of it.  It may upset you on occasion.  Yet you're aware the news crew is not referring directly to you.  

Never take things too personally. It's almost guaranteed it isn't personal. They're just people stating opinions that may or may not be exactly the same as your own. Please know that you do have friends who may not be as vocal but certainly enjoy being a part of your life. If someone's posts, tweets, or uploads really bother you that much, you always have options so you no longer see that which offends or bothers you. Some people somehow lack or fail to utilize this filter that keeps most of us from saying things we'll later regret that in turn keeps us from emotionally traumatizing or ostracizing others.

Technology is a Double Edged Sword

I often believe people use technology as a means to justify not keeping in touch with the people they care about the most. I find it's a double edged sword. It's both a wonderful way to stay in touch and a fabulous way to avoid being in contact. I'm not implying the latter is always intentional, simply that it can often be the case.  Missing calls or texts.  Not noticing voice mail.  Being too preoccupied with a project or daily life.  Not responding to social media, voice mail, or e-Mail.  If one is remiss in acting upon using the benefits of technology for too long, it's easy to lapse into a cycle of unintentional neglect facilitated by the very technology that simplifies engaging in communication.  In this world filled with cellphones, tablets, PDA's, iPods,  laptops, and apps to fulfill every need imaginable the only component that really matters is the human one.

The Fork in the Road

This is my version of the proverbial fork in the road.  It's that place where life forces you to make a decision.  Often this decision is irreversible.  More times than not there is no switch up ahead to put you back on track if you took the course that lead to the less desirable of the two outcomes.  Life isn't a train station.  You can't notice you're going the wrong direction, get off at the next stop, and simply correct your course.  Life is a series of decisions both conscious and subconscious.  Instead of simply being a passenger on life's journey, be the conductor.  Plan your route.  Factor in your stops.  Instead of leaving things to chance, allow yourself time to engage interesting activities, places, and people.  Learn from others.  Allow others to learn from you.  Your life will be richer for it.  A fork in a road or a decision you need to make is just an opportunity life has gifted you.  Don't shut your eyes until the decision makes itself, it's too late, or the opportunity has long passed.  Instead take control of your life, make the decision, and face the consequences.  More often than not the decision you make will be the right one for you.    

Nine ingredients that make any dish healthier

When I was younger, I may or may not have read this article.  It would depend on my time constraints.  There were so many other professional articles and articles that were more pertinent to my daily life that this one would probably have been placed in that ever growing "to do" pile.  Now that I'm older, I find I'm more health conscious.  Not only am I conscious of ingredients I use but also of prepared products I use and consume.  I even find myself scanning the healthy menu at sit down and fast food restaurants.  It's not something I do on a conscious level, it's just something I find myself doing or realize I've done later.  While I'm neither overweight nor unhealthy, logic dictates it's far better to take preventative measures than regret not doing so later.     
Nine Ingredients that Make Any Dish Healthier

Pets

I never understood why parents refused to allow their children pets.  We have two dogs at the house.  My niece has her turtle.  Each of my daughters has a pet or two.  It gives them something to be responsible for other than themselves.  They forge connections and attachments.  They learn how to care for their pet and what makes their pet unique not only as a different kind of animal but in personality.  Having this extended understanding of another creature makes them better people.  In a world that's filled with difficulties, having responsibilities and routines gives stability.  The added benefit of having something to care for and care about that also cares for you in return is well worth the investment.

Awesome Firepit Swingset

I  read the title and raised an eyebrow.  It sounds like a terrible idea.  Swings tend to be dangerous by themselves.  Adding fire anywhere near a swing just sounds awful.  However, if you actually look at the design it's very attractive and interesting.  I can see where this would be a welcome addition particularly in the cooler months.  I almost wonder if the dangerous sounding title was intentional.  Most people are more apt to be interested in that which elicits an emotional response.  It doesn't matter if that reaction is positive or negative.  People in general are drawn to it.  These emotionally loaded titles are what they're drawn to, what they'll read and what they'll share with others.  On some level whether it's shocking, surprising, makes them smile or laugh, makes them angry, makes them think or makes them curious, it changes the way they look at things if only for a moment.  Most people are compelled to share their feelings whether or not they're aware of them.  Intentional or accidental it's a great marketing tactic.  Many people read this admittedly wonderful article just out of curiosity.   
Awesome Firepit Swingset

I Had a Wonderful Time

I spent a day visiting a new micro-brewery.  It's a good way to support local businesses.  They purchase all they use from local producers.  Afterward, we went shopping.  My daughter bought ice cream.  We ate in the park.  We visited the cemetery.  I wish I would've brought flowers.  We ended the day playing video games.  It was a good day.

Did I mention that I've never liked beer.  I simply don't enjoy the taste of hops.  I also dislike shopping.  The stores are always too crowded.  People tend to be so preoccupied with their own needs that shopping makes many of them very rude.  Many people also have issues controlling their children these days.

I've seen pets, not assistance animals, but just pets places I'm relatively certain you're not allowed to have pets.  It's a little dog not a child.  It doesn't belong at the mall, shopping center, boutique, or the grocery store.  It's not simply a matter of being annoying or a nuisance.  Some of us are allergic.  It's inconsiderate.

I dislike beer and the perils of shopping.  Yet, I still enjoyed my day.  Ordinarily, one would suppose this would be a terrible itinerary.  However, it's not what you're doing, it's with whom you're spending you're time that makes it both enjoyable and memorable.  I very much enjoyed spending time with my daughter and her fiance`.  I had a wonderful day with my family.  That above all is what made my day a good day.  Often it's easy to forget that it's the people in our lives that make the daily and significant events in life special.