I thought I was the only one

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”
-C.S. Lewis

Friendship is an interesting topic.  Friends have things in common.  Friends enjoy each others company.  The closer you are, the more you are aware of that person.  I have friends I've met briefly or have yet to meet in person who know me better than friends who live down the street.  While I understand the ideal that friendship should be based on mutual interests, "I thought I was the only one." seems very lonely to me.  In this world of great technological advancements often people forget how to communicate.

I am a product of my decisions

I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions. - Stephen Covey

Everyone has hardships.  Everyone has a life's story.  It isn't your background, family, education, friends, home, or job that define you.  Your circumstances may shape your outlook or viewpoint but your decisions ultimately determine results.  How you see life and how you live life are only separated by the fine line of your decision making.

About Violence

There are many variations on this post.  The last frame always has the same theme.  It's normally three to six frames in length.  In the first few frames it displays other video games with ludicrous examples.  In a three frame tier, it might show a popular farming game with the caption "This doesn't make me a farmer." in the first frame.  In the second frame, it might display a popular cooking game with the caption "This doesn't make me a cook."  Regardless of the number of frames the final frame is always some kind of popular action or shooter game with the caption "Why would this make me a murderer?"  It makes a good point.  If a person isn't violent to begin with or doesn't have violent tendencies, no amount of TV, movie, or video game violence will make that individual violent.  In our world, there must be reasons for everything.  To have closure, we must know why.  There are wars.  There are bombings.  There are shootings.  There are car accidents.  There are kidnappings.  There are murders.  There are runaways.  There are plane crashes.  There are so many tragedies.  Even more so, there are people seeking closure who just want a reason why.  It's easy to place the blame on something inanimate.  In many ways, it helps to relieve some of the pain of the loss.  This blame is misplaced but if it helps to heal a broken heart as long as they do no harm, it doesn't hurt to hate a rabbit as long as there are no plans to kill it.  "Rabbit" being whatever the victim's family chooses to blame. 

The magic comes from within

Alice came to a fork in the road.  “Which road do I take?” she asked.
“Where do you want to go?” responded the Cheshire cat.
“I don’t know,” Alice answered.
“Then,” said the cat, “it doesn’t matter.”
-Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland


This quote always makes me smile.  If you lack a purpose in life, it doesn’t matter what direction you take.  It’s preferable to do something than to sit by convinced that someone or something will come along to show you the way.  Life continues whether you want it to or not.  You determine how you live your life and where it takes you.  There is no magic cat to follow through wonderland.  The magic comes from within.


::Originally Posted http://blastkat.wordpress.com/2013/08/12/the-magic-comes-from-within/

It's good to have preferences but better to always educate yourself

I really enjoy enjoy eating mushrooms therefore it is very difficult to select a favorite.  However, my cousin Odie who I spent many summers in my youth at my Mama's[1] home with loves to wander in the woods and collect edible plants like sassafras root and oyster mushrooms.   Growing up, I grew fond of his licorice flavored sassafras teas and many many edible wild plant recipes in particular a stir fry including copious amounts of oyster mushrooms.  I suppose if I had to pick a favorite I would select oyster mushrooms.
[1] Note:  Mama is what we called our Grandmother on our Dad's side of the family.

This entry always makes me smile.  I grew up with my brother, many cousins, and two nannies to keep watch over us.  Our nanny Faye was always convinced Odie was trying to poison us.  She suspiciously tried each of his concoctions first.  Our nannies were highly superstitious.  I suppose it's cultural. 

These days there are many cultures.  I'm not just speaking in a traditional sense.  The Twitter culture for example is very different than the Facebook, the Google+, the Tumblr, or the Pinterest cultures.  Each has their own set of rules and  norms.  What may be acceptable on one social platform is out of the norm or completely unacceptable in another.  In social networking, you may have your preferences or favorite but unlike other topics it's your responsibility as a good citizen of each network to learn acceptable and unacceptable behavior.

It's not just social taboo or superstition.  Anything you do online is a permanent reflection of yourself.  You don't want a social misunderstanding to inadvertently represent you in a negative manner.  While it's possible to rebrand, there's always that lingering misstep that could've been avoided had you only bothered to properly educate yourself or at least tidy up per each site's privacy regulations.  It's good to have preferences but better to maintain a clean house so to speak, to keep up to date on the TOS for example and to always educate yourself.

My Favorite "Point"

I was once asked what my favorite point was...  It's an open ended question.  Most people answered typically -- pencil points, pen points, crayon points, laser points, to make a point... Well, that last answer was a bit more creative.  My answer was:  My favorite point is the one where I don't disap-"point" my children. It means a lot to me to make them just as proud of me as I am of them.

Parents always say, "Make me proud".  Children always seek their parent's approval.  I'm a single parent.  I've seen disappointment in my children's' eyes.  It has never been directed towards me.  I'd never want this.  I'd never want my children to be any less proud of me than my parents.  I often wonder if parents hear the way they speak to their children in public.  I wonder if they are capable of perceiving themselves in the same way strangers perceive them.  I wonder if they would modify their behavior if they could see what others see.  I wonder how they would react if they could see things through the eyes of their children.  There are so many people in life who you'd want to impress, who you'd want to be proud of you.  Shouldn't the first people on that list be yourself and your family?     

When you climb your way to the pinnacle of success, who do you want by your side?

People are so focused on immediate results and productivity, they tend to ignore the value of taking your time

Our grocery stores here are open all night.  When the day is through and the stores are empty, my youngest daughter and I leisurely stroll the isles.  It's nice and quiet.  All the fresh cooked from that morning bread, donuts, deli products, chicken, and such are half price or more off.  I've already pre-loaded our loyalty card with coupons before we go for extra savings.  Grocery shopping is a casual expedition with my daughter.  I suppose I'm torn with my favorite part of grocery shopping being the great value or the quiet experience of shopping at night.

Often it's the every day experiences that are a great reminder to slow down and not rush through life.  Shopping for groceries is a simple necessity.  In the silence of the night as we are able to leisurely shop, check and recheck our grocery list without the normal disturbances of daily life not only do we not rush and not forget items but we are also more apt not to take as long shopping.  We take our time.  We bother to recheck our grocery list.  It's less crowded.  The urgency to exit the store as quickly as possible isn't present.  Since, we bother to make certain we have all the necessary items, the need to return to the store immediately after leaving which causes stress doesn't exist.  There's great value in planning and taking your time.  Many people are so focused on immediate results and productivity, they tend to ignore the latter.  

Your best ideas tend to come when you least expect it

Nothing like a nighttime stroll to give you ideas. ~J.K. Rowling, "The Egg and The Eye," Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, 2000, spoken by the character Mad-Eye Moody

Your best ideas tend to come when you least expect it.  As such, it's always wise to keep a notepad or other means of recording your thoughts before you forget.  Often a moment of brilliance will glow brightly but only for a moment.  You're deceiving yourself in believing you'll be able to recall the details later.  Like a wonderful sunset the most brilliant of ideas will fade from your memory more quickly than the sun vanishes from the sky.  Relaxation may help you recall your thoughts or come up with superior ones.  The best ideas that are not acted upon are equal to no ideas at all.

A better place to live

I've had the flu for longer than normal.  I'll be the first to admit, I don't take very good care of myself.  My daughters are all quite busy but take the time to call me to check on me.  I suppose I must concern them.  Yesterday my youngest dropped by after class.  Today my oldest was called off work.  She dropped by and spent time with me.  I spoke with my other daughter (who has to work) both yesterday and today on the phone.  I had lunch with my niece the last few days.  They're all too kind and look out for me.  They also do their best to keep my spirits high.  I've always been grateful to my family and friends.  I suppose the best way to summarize all my family and friends do for me is "The only true test of values, either of men or of things, is that of their ability to make the world a better place in which to live." - Henry Ford, Ford News  I wouldn't be where I am today without the caring and support of my family and friends.  They create the most favorable existence for me.

The true art of deceiving oneself lies in not over-analyzing the situation

"I lie to myself all the time, but I never believe me." - S.E. Hinton

"I'm fine" is probably the biggest lie I tell myself.  Back in January of 2012, I fell and hit my Dad's storage chest.  My ribs hurt.  I told myself and everyone else I was fine for three months.  By then, I developed pneumonia.  When I saw my doctor, he did a chest X-ray.  I broke three ribs.  He wasn't happy with me.  I broke three ribs the preceding year on the other side of my chest.  I was fine then as well.

Why do we lie to ourselves?  It's not intentional.  It's a reflex or a reaction.  It's something you do without thinking about it.  Admitting certain things bother us is a sign of weakness.  It says there is something in this world you can't handle on your own.  Your mind goes into defensive mode.  In this case this was odd for me, since I'm neither afraid of doctors or hospitals.  I just don't think of myself as weak.  It bothers me.  If I would've given myself the opportunity to think about it, I'd know I wasn't fine.  However, the true art of deceiving oneself lies in not over-analyzing the situation.

Avoidance is another reason to lie to yourself.  If you have a dreaded meeting you're trying to avoid and your mind tells you it's Wednesday instead of Thursday so you miss the meeting.  You've effectively lied to yourself to avoid an uncomfortable situation.  In truth, you most likely only postponed it.  However, your stress level decreases as you reschedule for a much later date.  In truth, if you would've thought about it, glanced at the calendar on your phone or in your planner, you'd know the day and date.  The art of avoidance through deception didn't allow it.  Your mind likely told you that you were too busy.

Intentionally deceiving others is unconscionable.  Deceiving oneself isn't possible without the suspension of disbelief.  I lie to myself all the time.  "No.  I won't be late."  If I hit traffic, this is a less than comforting lie.  I have however successfully deceived myself.  On those occasions my mind found an ulterior motive on it's own.  I broke my ribs in January after my Dad passed away.  I was needed at home.  After everyone returned to their homes, I started feeling ill.  I went to the doctor.  Apparently, I broke three ribs and developed pneumonia because it went untreated.

I would agree the quote is true unless your will is strong.  There are many ways to successfully deceive yourself.  There are many positive reasons to do so, for example:  convincing yourself the room is empty or contains one person so you aren't nervous during a speech.  The key is to identify whether or not it's necessary.  If it's not necessary you won't believe yourself anyway.  However, if it's important don't over-analyze and keep yourself busy.