Sometimes it's not about you

I hear it all the time.  What did I do?  Why is he/she angry with me?  What can I do to fix things?  The answer to this and many other "me" centric questions is:  It probably has nothing to do with you.  You most likely didn't do anything out of the ordinary.  He/she is angry and taking it out on you but not actually angry with you.  There isn't really anything you can do to fix things.  As a parent, relative, and friend I understand the whole "must fix it" complex but sometimes, much of the time it doesn't involve you so you can't fix it.  I'm not saying walk away.  I'm saying give your child, relative, or friend room to figure things out on his/her own.  Be there and really listen.  It does no one any good for all parties to be upset.  Also, if you ask someone (like me) for advice, remember you asked for advice.  Don't go on the defensive.  I'm not taking sides.  At the same time, as your friend I won't lie to you.